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Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I-Phone movie reviews! Space Buddies!

The following was written with my I-Phone last night. I am on a timed public library computer and I must post this without doing anything but adding a picture. My next post will be either a review, or what I think it is going to be like. Talk later! Sincerely, Buzzard Barnes


Space Buddies, the best movie I have seen.
I have had a rather long history with the Air Bud franchise, dating back to an airline showing of Air Bud II: Golden Retriever, which was fascinating even without the headset. My friend Mark Zimmerley (son of Merlin Zimmerley) was next to me and we were able to predict the whole thing without the audio. Our friends across the aisle were convinced we had seen it before, but it was the over the top acting which made it so easy to see the hamfisted foreshadowing.
To be honest, I laughed about that experience for years. Also the fact that our very effeminate flight attendant turned quickly while holding a tray of drinks, managing to spill one down the neck of the man in front of us without realizing. Of course we laughed, causing the guy think it was us. Needless to say the rest of the flight was sort of tense.
It was all just a funny story and an excuse to bring up the name Air Bud II: Golden Retriever until 2008. I was working making boat davits for that Swedish asshole Mr Nelsson. Though the boss was a jackball, the work was good and Robert made the job bearable (when he didn't smell too bad). He was in charge of buffin' n' polishin' da davits. His rotund body matched perfectly with his wispy silver hair and mustache. The childlike facial expressions and weird things he said just made him even more interesting. When we would exchange insults one of his go-to responses was to call me whatever he saw lying around as an insult. Such as "tin snips"! If I called him a "cock hole" he would often reply with "cock hole" which really brought the exchange to a stand still. Robert was special. He wore collared shirts tucked into his jeans, which were hiked up so high you could see his balls bulging through when he sat rocking back and forth on the high, squeaky chair which was his throne twice a day at break time and during lunch. Normally I would say that seeing the outline of your coworkers balls is gross, but Robert was so awesome that it was merely comical. He was the essence of a man child.




This picture is to take your thoughts off of Robert's bulging ball sack. Also Norman in the picture wanted to create a perfume by collecting the topmost folliage from fir trees and sell it to Twilight fans visiting Forks. Too bad he wanted to call it "Wolf Dung"! This story will appear in my book (if I ever get it done).


 He was 63 then, and though he had told me about going to " (mas)'sage parlors" and about his go-go dancer girlfriend (named Gypsy) who was buried in a pink coffin, he was very childlike.
One day he greeted me with the grin which meant he was going to tell me something. "I seen dis movie, Puppies in Space! It was purty good. Da puppies had little space suits on! Hee hee!"
At this point I was dying. It was funny enough to know that there was an Air Bud movie about puppies in space without picturing Robert watching it with his brother Rapel. I asked him a bit more, trying to get a review, but I can't remember what he said; sadly.
Needless to say, it has been some time since then and I hadn't thought about Air Bud for awhile. That is until the other night when I was at the video rental shop and found Space Buddies: Puppies in Space for rent. The Missus had told me to get good movies, so I couldn't resist. I figured The Child would love it because of the cute puppies, and I knew that if I brought it home The Missus would have a good reaction. So I rented it. Tonight we watched the first twenty minutes. Here is the review:
Space Buddies: Puppies in Space

Sent from my iPhone

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