Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Strange Request Number One

For those who are interested (I'm looking at both of you) it shall be known henceforth that I have made the decision to stay and live in Harrisburg PA. It has been nearly 3 1/2 weeks since I arrived here and ten days since I made up my mind. The following post has nothing to do with this. At the start of the year I had almost completely finished my album and was in New York starting to write my book (My Name is NOT Edward), then things changed, I arrived in Harrisburg, got work, got sick, and found myself not writing but watching movies and resting. Once I realized that yes, I actually do need to get back to writing, I found myself in the unenviable position of kick starting my creative process after some days of relaxing. In order to do so I embarked on a bit of a journey.

During my countless hours of combing the Craigslist Strictly Platonic section I have come to notice some patterns. The newest one was that any post which contains the phrase "strange request" is going to be crazy as hell. I have found a few before which I used, but I hadn't searched for that particular phrase. So the other night I did that. All over the US. Of course it doesn't always come up, so I augmented my "research" with the keyword "Asian" which provided copious low hanging fruit as well. The following item was posted in its entirety on Minneapolis Craigslist and due to its relative insanity and length, I decided to feature it alone. Since it is so long management has urged me to insert pictures and captions throughout to break it up. That will be my contribution to this gem. If you are truly unfortunate I may add a bit of breakdown at the end where we look at some takeaways. So without further ado:

Any ladies want a good guy? - m4w - 27 (South metro)

Hello, I like to share a bit about myself and if you like it Post me something about you. But 1st Post in subject. " Color of your hair"

In this case pick one or two colors of hair.

Im not and WILL NOT EVER BE A SICKO like other MALES on Craigs list who show there Johnsons. 

Go ahead, search "There Johnsons" on Google Images. This was number four.

That is a private thing between you and your girl Not for everyone to see!

I am a white Norwegian guy who works 2 jobs. I lived in Norway for 12 years and visited Europe a few times. I was born on in Minnesota though. 

I had this taken the day I killed my first Reindeer!

I have my own Car and was close to buying a new house this summer but with 1 restriction I can fix and get a place this summer. 

Just one restriction....

A bit about my past history on Dating. I only been with 4 ladies on dates. My 2nd lady I was with I proposed to her 6 years ago, But sadly she got into a car accident and passed away. ;(

 During that time I was going to school and Graduated with 3 degrees. 

I was actually giving a speech at another graduation because I just got too many degrees!

When my girlfriend passed away, My family at the time happen to also have health issues and so did I. 6 days after my girlfriend passed away I had a Stress heart attack. (it does take 1-2 years for a person to re coop). I moved back with my mother at this time. When I was close to moving out. My mother had a PE. and I stayed to help her. I find Family is 1st. Its all you have.

This is me having a stress heart attack!

 From learning from my past I like a person who caring and honest as I am. I don't cheat, play or do any those type of games!. 

In fact, I only play for keeps!

I have morals and ethics like 95% of Guys don't have. They want 1 thing from you "the " bed, But I look at it. Ok that's great you scored and.... that leads what bragging?

I'm not gonna brag but my dead girlfriend said I had a nice pickle!

 Now it shows you your immature. Any who I want a person I be friends with and I could care with. It doesn't have to lead to the Bed. I be happy to be happy again with someone I could care about. 

I wouldn't be upset though if the "bed" was your place for relaxing.... ;)

Honest and morals and ethics imo are the best I got. I would say Im not the greatest looks. But I have a personality and caring. 

The glasses show off my zany side!

I enjoy Sports (I use to be a kicker/punter for the Badgers) I am a Football fan, Viking fan. Baseball, Hockey. I enjoy golfing bowling skying. I don't really go to bars, I never really a fan. I love plays, concerts, Operas, Art, Photos, Karaoke, Walks.

Kicker or punter. I'm just a sports nuts!

I am not the greatest communicator or best to understand on what you want at times. I can tell you why if you ask :) But trust me I do care!

I try to pick role models who are excellent communicators to improve my communicate!

What type of Ladies I like. I prefer Western Europe background. AKA Whites preferred type. Blond, Burnett's,

I REALLY like Burnett's!

  I am Not really into Read heads but you can still post I would consider ^_^.

I said READ heads! But you may as well fill out an application anyway, but you must provide three references!

If you are an Asian I might go for that if you are cute ^_- 

Nope! Thanks for trying!
 I like watching and doing a lot of lady type of things. I enjoy just being with a lady that I could care about, as deeply as my last girlfriend who passed away. Will you be the lady?

OK, I admit, we both just really need to get lei'd!

I dont want you to send a photo. I want you to Answer my question and tell me more of yourself ! (((((( Post in subject. " Color of your hair")))))) 


So there you have it. The most insane strictly platonic ad thus far in 2013. And no, I have nothing else to say. Buzz.