"David si appresta ad essere sottoposto al trattamento Twilight"

L'intero mondo dell'arte è stato scosso oggi quando la Commissione delle Belle Arti di Firenze ha annunciato la ferma intenzione di procedere con il piano di dare un nuovo volto ad una delle sue sculture più celebri. La statua sarà presto arricchita dal volto di Robert Pattinson, ilvampiro più famoso del momento grazie alla fama della Saga di Twilight. L'annuncio ha colto tutti di sorpresa, anche se già da qualche tempo circolavano voci in merito, soprattutto dopo l'assunzione, lo scorso giugno, di Lorenzo "Lori" Fontana come direttore della Commissione fiorentina.
Nella conferenza stampa di questa mattina Fontana si è personalmente espresso circa la storica mossa.
"Di questi tempi abbiamo bisogno di pensare al futuro. I numeri sono così bassi che reputo che molti giovani preferirebbero morire piuttosto che andare in giro a guardare queste anticherie. Per essere onesto credo che abbiamo sinceramente bisogno di fare qualcosa di speciale in modo che noi si possa portare la gente a guardare questo genere di arte anche nei prossimi 400 anni. Quest'uomo, Robert Pattinson... voi tutti sapete cosa sia la R-Patz mania. Lui è il moderno simbolo sexy. Lui può fare crollare ogni donna e sa bene come farlo. Invece questo David è ormai decisamente troppo noioso. Lo guardo in faccia e immediatamente mi annoio fino alle lacrime. Onestamente, mentre lo guardo io sto aggiornando il mio profilo su Twitter, e questo mi fa ben comprendere la necessità di inserirgli un po' di 'Patz-R' per renderlo davvero affascinante".
Quando un reporter arrabbiato (uno che con ogni probabilità è stato fortunato ad essere stato lasciato fuori dalle varie comunità di pensionati) ha cercato di attaccar briga con Fontana tacciandolo di tentare deliberatamente di "rovinare un'opera d'rte inestimabile", il direttore si è lanciato in un sorriso vincente.
"Lei afferma che non ha prezzo? OK, quindi ora diventerà migliore. La Saga di Twilight e Robert Pattinson non hanno prezzo. Il tentativo oggi di tentare di interessare i giovani circa questo genere di arte senza renderla affascinante è una missione impossibile!".
Ovviamente Fontana si era già posto questa domanda!
Così, nonostante le proteste e le tante e-mail contro questa iniziativa, la statua sarà fatta scendere dal suo piedistallo il prossimo Lunedi e verrà portata presso lo studio di Mario Pena che inizierà a lavorare sul viso. Lo scultore ha trascorso una intera giornata a studiare il volto dell'attore britannico e si vocifera che Pattinson verrà pagato 20 milioni di dollari per aver prestato il suo volto al restauro moderno di questo antico pezzo di pura arte! Il progetto dovrebbe essere completato entro la prossima estate e la fine dei lavori è attesa con fermento.
È interessante notare inoltre che Fontana ha fatto intendere che sta lavorando con il museo parigino del Louvre su un progetto speciale, e io posso solo sperare che le indiscrezioni circa la possibilità di dipingere la co-star di Robert, Kristen Stewart, sulla Gioconda siano vere!
Ora sì che tutto questo sarebbe davvero sexy!

The David to get the Twilight treatment! Shocking News!

The art world was rocked today when the Florence Arts Commission announced that it would be going ahead with it plan to “update” its most famous figure by carving the face anew. The statue will soon be graced by the vampiric visage of Twilights Robert Pattinson. The announcement came as a surprise, though there have been rumors about it since the hiring of Larenzo “Lori” Fontana as the FAC director last June.

In the press conference this morning Fontana elaborated on the historic move. “In these day and time we needing to think about the futures. The numbers are so low that I think many young people would rather die than go around looking at these old stuffs. To be honest I think that we need to do something special so that we can bring people in to looking at this things in the next 400 years. This man Robert Pattinson, you know, the R-Patz. He is the sexy. He can make the women swoon so good. So I know that this David, he is too boring. I have to look at him and I am immediately boring to tears. Honestly, most the time I am looking at him I am updating my Twitter. So we have needing to put the R-Patz to bring up the sexy.”

When an angry reporter (who was lucky he was let out of his retirement community) tried to pick a fight with Fontana for “ruining priceless art” the director flashed a winning smile. “You asking is priceless? OK so now it become better. Twilight Saga and Robert Pattinson is priceless. Try to interesting young people in this stuffs without so sexy. Impossible!” Obviously Fontana had already asked himself that question!

So despite protests and hate mail, the statue will be taken down from its pedestal next Monday and brought to the studio of Mario Pena who will begin work on the face. The sculptor spent a day studying the face of the actor and it is reported that he is getting paid $20 million for lending his look to the piece! The project is due to be completed by summer and the finished work is highly anticipated.

Interestingly, Fontana hinted that he was working with the Louvre on a special project, and I can only hope that rumors about painting Rob’s co-star Kristen Stewart on the Mona Lisa are true! Now that would truly be sexy!

Stud looking for friends

Essentially I am doing nothing. I am supposed to be writing, which I have neglected to do. I am supposed to be working on my truck, that is not happening. If any of my readers feel like adopting me, I am cheaper than buying a new puppy. Plus I am trained to use a litter box. Anyway, in my drone like state I went back to craigslist, this time checking out Seattle. What a welcomed surprise I found! Here it is:

stud lookin for friends - w4w - 22 (Bremerton)

What sup dis dat stud comin str8 from da 360...just on here looking for friends only n thats it.....i'm lookin for a nice femme that can keep it real str8 up no bullsh*t at all....just get at me for pix 

Short and to the point. He says it like he means it. Str8 up. I was slightly confused that he says w4w, and the tone of his writing is decidedly masculine. I am guessing that perhaps, being a stud, he just wanted to get as many women as possible. Or perhaps he is a female stud. I am sure they exist. For those who are not local to Washington state, the term "from da 360" means nothing. Neither does Bremerton. What you should know is that the area is virtually busting at the seams with studs. In fact it is known locally as the "Stud Sector." Not only are the studs stunning, but they are sensetive and caring studs too. So when he makes the opening statement "sup dis dat stud str8 from da 360" he is essentially showing you his pedigree papers as a pure bred bremerton stud. So the fact that he is asking for someone who can "keep it real str8 up" is almost a given. You do realize that you are reading the posting of a genuine stud don't you? Don't you? This post is still up, and I advise all "femmes" to respond. You could be missing the opportunity of a lifetime!

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This speaks for itself

Hey, I was waiting for the coolant to drain from my radiator and I found this gem. It is so long I won't even comment. I would love to hear what you think about this fellow. Read carefully, the beauty is in the details. It is nearly perfect.

Fun Loving Sexy Black Guy, Snowed In!!! - 34 (Leawood Kansas)

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Date: 2011-02-01, 12:22PM CS

If you do write me, can you try and tell me what's in my picture? Then you seem more like a real person, really you do.

So anyway about myself, I'm a divorced black man, a busy corporate IT professional during the day, after hours a part time active parent to some very, very energetic, kids. It makes for a busy, hectic schedule at times. But also, it means that when I do have free time, I look to make the most of it. Relaxing, chilling, having fun, getting in whatever R&R I can before it's time to do it all again. My free time activities vary, definitely during these long cold KC winters I get more in the mode to do stuff indoors, comedy shows, bowling/darts, dinner/movie night, I love to cook so entertaining at home always works, get a firelog blazing hot in the fireplace, some good food, good wine and good company, yeah that definitely works! Spring and Summer find me more out on the town, live music, arts shows, theater, I do it all.

Relationship wise, I looking for something exclusive but low key -- but I'm flexible, it's all about finding something that works for both people. Someone with a sense of humor, someone intelligent, caring, and open-minded, someone with a sense of adventure and energy to match, yeah that's me and that's what I'm looking for. Someone mature enough to know what's really real and important, but still young at heart enough to have some fun and live life!

Physically, for me, yes looks do matter, LMAO! I like a woman that definitely knows how to carry herself sexy classy, somewhat of a girly girl, and definitely I'm more into Muff than Muffin Top. I prefer slim to tight to sexy-phat (nope no BBWs just being real) I'm right at 6'0" with an athletic build, right around 190lbs -- medium brown complexion, with sexy brown eyes and a killer smile. I don't smoke, rarely drink, I eat right most of the time, I exercise and workout most days, and definitely I get my rest -- can't be hanging out all night going from bar to bar, club to club -- living life like an alley cat, not! So, definitely I need someone where my lifestyle is not gonna clash with theirs every day of the week, feel me?

So anyway, let's hear from you already. Age, race, religion, color, does it really matter? Not to me! And whomever keeps flagging my ad, lol, get a life please? I'm only gonna keep re-posting!

ps.....could someone please turn the heat back on outside next time you are out there? Thank You!!!

Whoever the jerk is that's flagging this guy, lay off, he is not an "alley cat." I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. it just goes to show that we all have needs. We all bring something to the table. I am sure he is going to find someone special, if not he will just repost it. Buzzsaw

PS-He has a lot of demands for a guy who won't post his picture.

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