The Reserve

Down in Australia parks are called "reserves" unless I am wrong and only some parks are called reserves. Either way, we have a reserve down the street from our house. Not too many people use the reserve. Possibly because of all the rules.

They are SERIOUS about the rules!!!

The one exception is the old man who does tai chi. With a bo-staff. He is there most afternoons, slowly being healthy as hell. His glacial motions sooth in much the same way that a Kenny G saxaphone solo does. So when he farted one day I was completely surprised. I was not surprised however when The Child and I were walking past, and he had gathered a group of 5 trainees. Tai Bo is allowed on the reserve.

Other things which have occured on the reserve are copiuous animal deaths. I know because our dog Shithead seems to find all the carcasses, then roll in them.Though she has absolutely zero positive qualities, this particular negative quality is one of her most loathed. She already smells terrible no matter how many times she is washed, without rolling around on a dead blue tongue.

I know, you would think it's rotting flesh would smell nice!

Lastly the reserve is where The Child takes her toys to play. This is fine as long as she doesn't bring "Nudie" too often. This particular baby doll is in fact a nudist. He hates clothes and since his given name is Nudie, he likes to flout that fact. This is fine as we are fairly laid back at our house, but it can be kind of shocking to other families when The Child is running around yelling to Nudie and talking about him. So it is with some concern that I allow him to go to the Reserve. There are rules you know!