A Harrisburg Valentine (Boxing Day)!!!!

HI THERE! It's what all the youth are saying! Or so they tell me on Linkdin! Which by the way is the best place to meet fun and adventurous lovers...but of course this is not about my dalliances in and around the worlds most successful professional networking site! No! This is about craigslist. The place you people go to exchange bodily fluids and pay people to spank you! So here we go with round two of Harrisburg Valentines! Buckle your seat belts and keep your vomit bag handy!
 HEEEEERRREEEE WEEEEE GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Looking for a date or a friend - not a trick! - 60 - m4m (Harrisburg)

YES. THIS WAS ACTUALLY IN THE POST. NO FURTHER COMMENT.

Does anybody date anymore, without expecting to jump into the sack with a total stranger? I wouldn't mind dating, with no expectations. Or, friends to do things like hiking and biking. For friends, your age and shape doesn't matter. For dating, please be height/weight proportionate. I'm 5'7", 143 pounds, try to keep in good shape and looking for same.

CLEAR face pic needed for response. OK, what part of "CLEAR face pic" is above the comprehension level of some people? Hiding behind sunglasses, in a pic that requires a microscope to view, doesn't count!

Speaking of pics - I'm an amateur photographer who can take decent pics if you need to update the pics you have.

Comments: Yes. I lied. I have further comments. And questions. Such as: Did he take this picture in a walk in freezer? Is it totally CLEAR what he means by CLEAR? Did he make himself CLEAR? How molested do you feel now on a scale of 1-10? 10? Oh, CLEARLY you need to read it again and you would have said "11"! Oh, would you like him to take some nude pictures of you? CLEAR NUDE PICTURES???? Ah, now we are cooking with gas! Speaking of gas, did you think he would take nude pictures without first giving you a bit of laughing gas? Can you feel those handcuffs? It shouldn't hurt a bit......

Need a spanking friend - m4w - 32 (32)

age : 32
I'm looking for a friend who would like the kind of relationship where we hang out, watch movies, maybe get dinner sometimes, but also where one of us gets spanked. I'm not looking for sex out this, although i wouldn't say it's never a possibility. but for right now i just want a Spanking partner/friend. no stress, no pressure to be more. just simply spanking friends. I prefer to give, but don't mind taking one every now and again

Comments: Oh, you poor bastard. you thought I was joking about this. Well the joke is on you because to someone as well versed in the depravity of Craigslist Strictly Platonic posts this is very much run of the mill. I am actually falling asleep typing this. NEXT!

Naked Book Club - m4w - 36 (Mechanicsburg)

age : 36
Yes. You read it correctly.

Naked Book Club

Real people. Good books. Great conversation. No clothes.

What better way to start the new year?

Interested? Hope to hear from you.



Comments: Now this is not entirely unexpected, but because it is in Mechanicsburg PA it is even more heelarious than it would otherwise be. Which is pretty hilarious. I reckon they can use pubic hairs to mark their pages when they set their books down. Of course I imagine that the reading material will consist mostly of Tom Clancy with the occasional Daniele Steele. This is Central PA after all!

stadium club. - w4m (steelton )

Me and my friend are going to stadium club. Come chat with us.
We get bored. So we need people to talk to. She's in white and I'm in cheetah. You'll know us.

The Cheetah was moving so fast her pants caught fire!

Comments: Oh yeah. We will know you alright. The Cheetah outfit at The Stadium Club in Steelton PA. Natch. I'll meet you for jello shots and we can bang out an 8 ball in the baffroom. I'm on my way!

S or MWF for Cuddle Friend - m4w (Mechanicsburg)

I am told that there are more women than I realize who are interested in this type of relationship. Why do I only hear from the hookers, the phonies and the immature? Change the subject line to the color of your eyes, tell me about yourself and sorry no BBW's. No sex and no nude cuddling. I can host and live in a condo in Mech. 

Comments: Oh, you thought I was joking about Mechanicsburg PA? Stupid punk! Never doubt me! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Door Neighbor - m4w - 60 (Mechanicsburg)

age : 60 body : average height : 5'10" (177cm) status : partnered
You're my next door neighbor and you are a sweet woman. You borrow something from me on occasions and I think you are a darling. You live near a High School if you see this email me what you borrow.

Comments: Truly, this is one of the weirdest things I have ever seen. Or one of the most normal things to be birthed in the unholy womb of Mechanicsburg PA. And with this I must leave you. To your waking nightmares/ Love and mutual masturbation, Buzzsaw!

Craigslist Quickie: ARE YOU CHRISTIAN AND SEXY????

As I am extremely busy, what with wanting to go swimming and having recently written an e-mail, what little I give you today will have to suffice. But I think the gem I found on Craigslist Harrisburg's Strictly Platonic should tickle your funny bone/and or, I want a creepy new boyfriend from Florida bone...Without further ado:

Are you christian and sexy? - m4w (South Florida)

Hello to all the beautiful ladies in Pennsylvania.

+=+= PLEASE READ BEFORE REPLYING =+=+

I will be moving to PA from FL some time in July or August. I know it will be lonely when I get there, so it would be nice

to find a few nice christian ladies for friendship. Since friends make the best lovers, I want to focus on our friendship first.

I love hugging, kissing, cuddling, etc., and I BELIEVE IN ONE RELATIONSHIP AT A TIME.

I'm a christian man with great family values looking for a christian woman with great family values as well.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE FROM OR YOUR ETHNIC BACKGROUND. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR AGE EITHER AS LONG AS YOU'RE 21 OR MORE.

PLEASE DON'T WRITE ME ASKING TO SEND PICTURES. I WOULD PREFER THIS TO BE A SURPRISE FOR BOTH OF US IF WE DECIDE TO MEET.

BESIDES, THERE ARE TOO MANY SCAMS GOING ON HERE WHERE PEOPLE ARE COLLECTING NAMES, AGE, PICTURES, ETC.

IF YOU'RE NOT OKAY WITH THIS, THEN YOU DON'T NEED TO WRITE.

I look forward to being with one of you sexy ladies. Email me so we can get our friendship started.

Take care of yourself, and may God bless you.

+=+= THANKS FOR READING MY AD =+=+ 

For fun, why don't we play the game where you post comments about this for me to read. I'm going swimming!!!!!!