Wedgies Anyone?

This is too funny to pass up. I don't need to say anything. I am at a loss for words. I am e-mailing the author...

Wedgies anyone? - m4m - 26 (Carlsbad)

Date: 2011-02-13, 5:51PM PST
I'm looking for someone who is into giving and receiving of wedgies. Nothing sexual, just wedgies.

Please email me if you are interested. I cannot host, but willing to travel to your place or meet somewhere.

-R I hope this guy finds happiness. He just made my day! Buzzsaw Note: I was so blown away by the topic of this post that I neglected to notice how it ends. "I cannot host", but of course he could travel to you, or perhaps to a mutally accepted wedgie meet-up. Like a destination vacation for non-sexual wedgies. It sounds awesome. Gotta go, meet up in progress...

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Wedding gag!

I would normally not post this because it is a bit more risque than I would like, but let it serve as a warning, because I am pretty sure this guy is a huge perv. Check out the post, which I found in St Louis.

seeking panties - m4w - 30 (arnold)

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Date: 2011-02-10, 10:18AM CST
Do you need some extra money? I need your used panties for a wedding gag. I might as well get some fun out of this too so if you want to just hand them over it will be $5 a pair. Take them off in front of me $25 dont worry wear a skirt I wont see a thing. Let me take them off $50. Reply with panties in the subject.

I have no doubt in my mind that the panties are going to be used as a wedding gag. I have been to enough weddings to know the dirty used pantie gag. That said it is somewhat odd for him to ask to watch you take them off. Another item of interest is the price. I have never bought women's underwear, so I don't know for sure, but I am fairly certain almost all women's clothing is more expensive than men's clothing (that is your fault ladies, men just raise the price because we know you will pay). It seems like $5 is a pretty low price. Selling him your used underwear (for a wedding gag) is not a great deal. On the other hand...the price becomes a lot more reasonable if you let him take them off...so there is the crux of the issue. I am sure the wedding gag is going to go off splendidly, so please, contribute to the celebration of the happy couple, let this man take your underwear off (he doesn't need to see a thing!). It is a total win win. The bride and groom will get a kick out of the used underwear gag, you get $50, and a man in St Louis gets to have a little fun while helping his friends with a wedding gag! What a deal!

Editors note: If any young lady happens to read this, I am sorry. There are sick people out there and you might as well know now so you can avoid them. This is obviously a sick scam. PLEASE DON'T DO IT!

What Would Michael Bolton Do? (WWMBD?)

I am sure you have all asked yourselves this question from time to time. It is one of those no-brainers that come up when you are picking the kids up at school, changing a tire, or buying a snuggie from a TV ad at 3am. WWMBD? Well I was searching the Minneapolis Craigslist postings and found someone asking the same question. Here is what he had to say:

WWMBD (What Would Michael Bolton Do) - m4w (Metro MN)

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Date: 2011-02-09, 8:58 pm

Do you ever find yourself asking yourself that? I don't, but I feel my life would have much more meaning if I did.

Do you find it odd that I just asked that? Me too.

I'm a married dude that likes to party. By "party", I mean "enjoy random online conversations with other ladies and/or 70-year old dudes posing as women".

If you like to email througout the day regarding inappropriate or random matters, email me. If not, kiss my butt!

Interesting that he poses the question, feints and withdraws. It is a baited hook. What does he mean when he says "I feel my life would be more meaningful if I did?" What is he trying to say. And more importantly what would Michael Bolton do in this situation? One thing for sure, He would probably start singing! He would probably sing about married dudes who like to party. Party by chatting online. With married women. Men posing as women. men posing questions about Michael Bolton. It is a mind bender! All I can say is that I hope one day I can be married and party this hard myself! It is like a version of heaven on earth! In closing, I am proud to say that I am getting a "What Would Michael Bolton Do?" Tattoo on the small of my back. I am SOOOOOO excited! I also e-mailed the guy so I wouldn't have to kiss his butt. You should too.

Any attractive, Christian women, who aren't alchoholics?

In a desperate attempt to pretend to work, I have been surfing Craigslist for the past couple of hours. I decided to do a Valentine's Day special. So if you are still single this is a must read. This posting is so alluring that it is sure to be successful. From the opening headline to the powerful ending, our author is pulling out all the stops. Read and enjoy:

·         Any good looking Christian women who aren't alchoholics?! A Valentine! - 26 (Sacramento)

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·         Date: 2011-02-13, 2:27PM

     

      I am an honest good guy. I have a job. I don't need to get hammered every night to have fun. I'm just looking for a girl who shares the same qualities. I come from a good family. I treat people with respect. I have a car. I'm athletic. I don't hook up with every girl I meet. I'm not a drug addict. If you are a decent girl who is looking for a good guy maybe we can chat. Please reply with "It's a good day" is your subject line. I'm not a creep and I'm not looking for a sexual encounter. Prefferably an attractice girl with some self respect who keeps her clothes on until she really knows a guy. Who knows.. maybe we will hit it off before Valentines day. P.S.. I will reply with some more real pictures if you do. I am not unattractive by any means. I'll let you be the judge of that. Just am kind of hesitant to post pictures of myself on here. Reply with a pic and I'll return the favor! Obviously, this posting starts out really specific. He is looking for attractive Christian women who are NOT, I repeat, NOT alcoholics! It makes sense because as soon as someone who falls into that demographic reads it, they are sure to respond. In his opening sentence he says "I am an honest good guy" I like that. I don't doubt it. I am sure the last booze-hound Episcopalian he dated walked all over him for it. In my heart of hearts I want this man to find true love. He strikes me as a truly wonderful man. Why do I think this? Because he has a job. Not only that he doesn't get rip roaring drunk every night! Probably every other, but not EVERY night! This is a man who cares about his family. AND OWNS A CAR! LADIES, START FORMING AN ORDERLY LINE! This guy is a saint! He is up front and honest about the fact that he doesn't sleep around too much! Not only that, if you are "attractice" and have enough self respect to keep your clothes on when you meet this hunk, you might get a second date. I am sure he has this policy because of the drunken hordes of ladies who have molested him after bible study or choir practice. This poor guy just wants someone special. He is NOT going to sleep with you. Even if in an inebriated state you read him your favorite bible passage. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! All he wants is for you to keep your clothes on. Get to know him. Put the liquor down. Maybe after church, when you sober up, he might take your top off. Probably not, but there is a chance. I know he wants to give you time to get to know him. He posted it today, he is hoping to find someone who clicks before Valentines day, which is tomorrow. In that time all potential candidates are required to put down the Fireball, pick up the bible, keep your clothes on and get to know this guy. Tomorrow, he will do you the honor of ravishing you after taking you out to Applebee's. It's your choice, you know what he wants. I will tell you this though, if you are a whiskey swilling Methodist who just wants to be a pole dancer for a living, you better stay the hell away. This man is a keeper.

Notícias chocantes! O David, de Michelangelo, irá receber o mesmo tratamento visual da saga Crepúsculo (Twilight)!

O mundo das Artes está em alvoroço com a notícia de que a Comissão de Artes de Florença (Florence Arts Comission – FAC) anunciou um plano para “atualizar” sua obra de arte mais famosa.  O David, de Michelangelo, logo terá a imagem vampírica do ator da saga Crepúsculo, Robert Pattinson, estampada em seu rosto. O anúncio surpreendeu a todos, embora já houvesse rumores do fato desde a nomeação de Lorenzo “Lori” Fontana como diretor do FAC, em junho passado.

Durante a entrevista coletiva ocorrida esta manhã, Fontana explicou melhor esse acontecimento inédito. “Nos dias de hoje, temos que pensar no futuro. As visitas são tão pouco frequentes que acho que os jovens preferem morrer a ter que visitar antiguidades em museus.  Para ser honesto, acredito que necessitamos fazer algo especial para atrair a atenção do público jovem pelos próximos 400 anos. E isso remete à  Robert Pattinson, também chamado pelas fãs de R-Pattz.  Ele é o símbolo sexual do momento e simplesmente enlouquece as fãs. E o David como está, é muito entediante. Tenho que olhar para ele sempre e isso me causa um tédio enorme. Francamente, a maior parte do tempo em que tenho que olhar para ele, estou atualizando meu Twitter.  Então, identificamos a necessidade de eleger alguém como  R-Pattz para atrair essa atenção.”

Quando um repórter indignado tentou iniciar uma briga com Fontana, por “ele ter arruinado uma obra de arte de valor incalculável”, o diretor ensaiou um sorriso triunfante. “Você diz que é incalculável? A saga Crepúsculo e Robert Pattinson é que são incalculáveis. Tente atrair a atenção do público jovem para os museus sem esse apelo sexy. É impossível!”. Certamente, Fontana  estava fazendo a si mesmo essa mesma pergunta!

Assim, apesar dos protestos e dos e-mails inconformados, o David, de Michelangelo, será retirado de seu pedestal na próxima segunda-feira e será levado ao estúdio de Mario Pena, que  começará o trabalho no rosto da estátua.  O escultor gastou um dia inteiro estudando a face do ator da saga Crepúsculo que, por sua vez, deverá receber 20 milhões de dólares para emprestar sua imagem à estátua, segundo os boatos! O projeto deverá ser finalizado até o próximo Verão  e  a expectativa a respeito já é enorme. 

Curiosamente, Fontana também  deve ter intuído que Pena estava trabalhando em um projeto especial com o museu do Louvre e eu só posso torcer para que  os  rumores sobre ele pintar o rosto de Kristen Stewart, co-estrela de Robert Pattinson na saga Crepúsculo, sobre o rosto da Mona Lisa sejam verdadeiros!  Isso sim seria sexy!

Man seeks Lesbians!

It seems to me that the further I get into the world of Craigslist the more normal weird things become. I found this one in Tulsa OK and I couldn't help but smile. I truly hope that a pair of lesbians is reading it and smiling. Nodding. Smiling. Emailing. Inseminating. Pregnanting. Birthing. Raising. Interacting with biological dad. Sending Christmas cards. Dropping by after tee ball. Showing dad the product of his genetics. It is a beautiful story.

man seeks lesbian(s) who wants child - m4w - 48 (Tulsa)

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I believe I am told old to raise a child (male or female) but would love to offer my genes and be aquainted with child and be there if needed.
I do not have a relationship @ moment and don't see having a child with someone anytime in the future. I have no problem also doing it
clinically...that's fine by me, just would like to know I contributed and know them and watch them grow in a loving household. I am not rich
by any means....just happy, intelligent, artistic and easy on the eyes and am in good physical shape except for a little pooch.

Please Contact Me!
D.K.

Platonic Nudism

Maybe I am the one with the problem. Seriously I am starting to wonder if I am just a repressed jerk who likes to find other peoples eccentricities and exploit them. Maybe I am. But this post on Seattle Craigslist was funny to me. Again, I am going to refrain from ruining this work of art by making too many comments so here it is:

platonic nudism - m4m - 30 (eastside)

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Date: 2011-02-10, 3:38PM PST

Basically I'm looking for guys who want to feel more comfortable with themselves while in the nude. I had a pretty conservative upbringing and it was hard not to associate nudity as being something sexual (I'm straight btw, this is platonic). So if you are interested in trying it out, are on the eastside (bel/red/kirk) and have a place to do it, let me know. It'd be great to find some like minded folks out there.

I love how vague this is. I am not entirely sure what this guy wants to do, I do "have a place to do it" but what "it" is I don't know. More than likely he just wants to hang around with other nude men eating Pringles and Laffy Taffy. Obviously it is nothing sexual, he mentioned that twice. It seems that this young man simply wants to get all the guys together and strip down. I did respond to this I will have you know, I am currently waiting. This is going to be great!