Caution, Australian Craigslist is for Adults Only! Part II

If you got a chance to read the last BS Report (which I am sure was AMAZING!), I am sure you are probably booking a ticket to Australia in order to find true love. Again, if ANYONE READING THIS IS A KID, PLEASE, PLEASE GET OFF THE INTERNET AND GO PLAY OUTSIDE! As for the adults, I will assume that you have given up and devoted your life to Farmville, so feel free to keep reading. This will totally inspire you in your search for true love. Or convince you that a life of celibacy is the key to happiniess. Without further ado, lets take trip down under...

1) Share Fantasies via email - m4mw - 30 (Sydney)

I am looking to share fantasies via email with women and men aswell. Couples are more than welcome. The idea is to exchange emails of fantasies and secrets you have and want to share. The mind is the largest and best sexual organ and this is what it is all about. Don't message me if you don't get this. The kinkier and dirtier the better, agree?

If we both like what we hear, maybe we take it further.

What it REALLY means: This is fairly straightforward. Your mind will never be the same if you dare to communicate with this man via e-mail.

Pictured: The START of a fantasy...

2) Can I find you? - m4w - 45

I'm Korean male, looking for a pen pal friend I am interested in reading, travel, some sports such as marathon and......
This is just for occasional email exchange, nothing serious just friends, we can chat about life and more.....

What it REALLY means: I am interested in such sports as marathon. It is not as boring as it sounds.

3) str8 wank / jerk buds - m4m - 26

Hey looking for other str8 guys who like to jerk with mates
been looking for a while but cant seem to find what im looking for.
So if you are looking for more, dont waste your time.
THis isnt for a random meet up has to be someone i can get alone with.
Put hot porn on and jerk, talk about sex, etc. If you are into cam4 even better.
if you thing you are in the same boat lets have a chat
cheers

What it REALLY means: Yeah, still looking for another str8 guy interested in a relationship based on our mutual love of "hot porn" and...yeah, I can see how it might seem strange. Trust me, it's not!

4) LATINO SURFER LOOKING FOR A ROOM - m4m - 27 (SYDNEY)

                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Tall dark latin american surfer jock looking for a room. Cant pay to much but can pay and help out.
Great cleaner, chef, give great massages and very easy going. Any help even for a short while would be great.
Thanks For Your time,

What it REALLY means: When I say I am good at massage I do not exagerate. I am REALLY good!

5) Looking for a kind African man - w4m - 25

To help me have a baby :) Through artificial insemination. Happy to offer good compensation for the right guy. You would not have any responsibilities in raising the child, but an ongoing friendship would be welcome. Very flexible about it all, so for more details please contact :)

What it REALLY means: My use of emoticons is disarming. Once again, I am very flexible about my desire to be inseminated by a kind African man. If you are flexible about pay I think it will be a great match. Also I am insane.

6) american cowboy - m4w - 31 (north dakota (usa))

good evening ladies. ive always thought that the australian womans attitude toward and outlook on life was the best. im a 31 year old white male that manages a ranch in south west north dakota. id like to establish a writing relationship with any ladies that are friendly and outgoing. i look forward to hearing from you. good night and god bless.

What it REALLY means: If you hadn't gathered by now, I am absolutely insane.

7) join us 4 drinks and dinner (w4mw) - w4w - 36 (CBD)

Hey there

I'm looking for an asian lady to join me (chinese australian female) for dinner with two great guys on friday 22 july.

my friends are from england and they visit sydney a couple of times each year.

we usually go for drinks at the zeta bar and have good italian food.

we laugh a lot and have a fun evening - nothing more

if you are interested to know more - let me know :-)

What it REALLY means: I have no friends. And I am a compulsive liar. And the man in the white suit forgot his I-Phone in my room...

8) pregnant girls are so attractive - m4w - 36 (manly)

any pregnant girls want to chat, either over a coffee or over the phone? you are so beautiful!! please get back to me

What it REALLY means: What the hell do you think it means?

9) Is it possible...? - m4w - 56 (North Shore)

Is it possible to have a good platonic friendship with someone, where each person acknowledges the other physical needs, and is willing to satisfy them without an emotional or romantic commitment...just friendship?

I am a caucasian Australian single parent of young adult children. We have all be through the mill the last few years. Neither I nor they are ready for the complexities that come with me finding someone new.

If you find that this makes sense, please get in touch and we could discuss it over a meal or something.

I'm not desperate...Just want to put it out there.

What it REALLY means: If this post doesn't work we are just going to get our dad a hooker.

10) Friendship? :) - m4w - 30 (Sydney )

So, let's begin.
I'm searching for a person who is unique, and you know what, you can be mega lonely. That would help with the criteria of what I'm looking for.
I'm not looking for sex, clubbing/pubbing/drinking buddies.
I'm also not looking for people with 652 friends, who are looking to chat with someone new for 40 seconds.
I'm looking for potential long term friends.

What it REALLY means: Fat girls need loving too!

11) Party time - m4ww - 23 (city)

Feel like meeting a random stranger off the net then going out to a club and party somewhere?
hit me up - let's have fun*
Ideally you'd be somewhat intelligent, know how to somewhat dance and be feminine of some sort.
* fun does not include intercourse
If you can do tonight a bonus.

What it REALLY means: Fun includes nothing but intercourse!

Editors note: Who even calls it "intercourse"? Is this man a doctor or something?

12) give me your help - m4m - 31 (inner west )

i need help as im a international student still , im married guy but all the time im keen to try to be with anther guy , can any one advice me i need something long relationship as you can help me to get permanent residency in Australia any body got any ides please tell me then we work out together , i will provide what you need via email later one
i need help as im a international student still , im married guy but all the time im keen to try to be with anther guy , can any one advice me i need something long relationship as you can help me to get permanent residency in Australia any body got any ides please tell me then we work out together , i will provide what you need via email later one
i need help as im a international student still , im married guy but all the time im keen to try to be with anther guy , can any one advice me i need something long relationship as you can help me to get permanent residency in Australia any body got any ides please tell me then we work out together , i will provide what you need via email later one

What it REALLY means: You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered. You will be murdered.

13) i adore small boobs - m4mw - 36 (northern beaches)

i know its not popular for guys to like small boobs but i really adore them, so if anyone wants to chat about their small boobs or even show me then get back to me!!

What it REALLY means: I adore boobs so small that I don't care if they are attached to a man!

So dear readers, that concludes my investigation of the Australian mind. It seems to be a wonderful, wonderful thing. Love always Buzzsaw.

PS- Do you think my boobs are small? I sure hope they are because I would love to talk about them. With anyone. Any of you. It would be an honour to talk to you about my chest blossoms. At any time.