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Showing posts with label billions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label billions. Show all posts

Monday, April 4, 2011

Summit: You Broke Their Hearts! (And They Leaked The Pics!)

In an attempt to understand the controversy behind the latest Twilight debacle (this time the "illegal" leaking of movie stills by the production company) I have found the real press release that explains exactly how saddened they are. It reads as follows:

As some of you may know, pictures and screen grabs of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn as a work in progress have leaked on the internet. We are extremely proud of this film and also extremely heartbroken to see it out there at this stage. The film and these images are not yet ready or in their proper context. They were illegally obtained and their early dissemination is deeply upsetting to the actors, the filmmakers and Summit who are working so hard to bring these movies to fruition to you in November 2011 and November 2012. Please, for those who are posting, stop. And please, though the temptation is high, don’t view or pass on these images. Wait for the film in its beautiful, finished entirety to thrill you. Sincerely, Stephenie Meyer, Bill Condon, Wyck Godfrey and Summit Entertainment
—Summit Entertainmnet
Well that is just terrible. What upsets me the most is that it had to be EMPLOYEES OF SUMMIT who leaked them. That is right. The sets are closed, so how in the world could it have leaked from an outside source? I have heard claims that some 14 year old Twihard from Australia hacked into Stephenie Meyer's computer, but that doesn't even make a good story, let alone a convincing lie! Come on Summit, if you want me to believe you, can you at least give me something to chew on? I can think of at least ten better ways explain the leak. How about blaming it on nerds who love Harry Potter and hate Twilight. There are loads of them, and they are probably all better with computers than most Twilight fans. As it stands, the press release just makes Summit look dumb. From the schedule of film releases, and other odd marketing tactics, summit should already be under scrutiny for this, if not blamed entirely and ignored. Let's take a look at some of the red flags that have gone up along the way.

First, Robsten. Whatever the hell the relationship between Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart is, the connection with Summit is undeniable. Let it be known, I could give a shit less whether it is real, but it is mighty suspicious that they have been thrown together as lovers since their audition. Now, they might be, but the whole controversy has certainly been lucrative for Summit, there is no denying.

Another fact that undeniably links Summit with retarded ploys to gain hype was when The Hurt Locker was nominated for an Oscar. Producer Nicolas Chartier was barred from the Academy Awards ceremony for sending out an e-mail begging voters to vote for him. The film went on to win a bunch of little gold statues of naked men, resulting in Summits only critical success (sorry Twihards, but your movies have been nominated for multiple Razzies). In my opinion, this is just another reason that Summit is suspect.

Lastly, lets look at the early leaks from the Brazil film location. It confuses me that they could film on a private island, and yet, somehow, pictures were leaked. Did they not require all staff to be searched prior to the filming? If not, I hardly care that someone supposedly leaked photo's. Of course I read statements prior to the shooting that said they would take all cameras etc, so either they are really bad at taking camera's or, what is more likely, they wanted to hype the movie by putting a few random photo's online so the fans could drool. In my opinion, the latter is much more likely.

Why would they need to hype up the final installment in a blockbuster series you ask? Well I can think of several reasons. First, they are waiting for a year before the release of Breaking Dawn. The other films were released closer together, thus keeping the hype machine rolling. With this one, they were probably worried about losing steam. Second, for anyone who has read the book Breaking Dawn, it is possibly the worst and most boring book in existence. I have had the chance to meet and speak with many Twilight fans, and rarely do I hear that Breaking Dawn is a favorite in the series. It is utterly rediculous, and since essentially nothing happens except some sex scenes and a baby delivery, the producers (mostly men I am sure) were worried that people might figure this out. So release some pictures. It is harmless.

In closing, from my perspective, the Twilight films and Summit are actually capitalizing on the cast more than the stories. Of course people talk about the story to some degree, but it seems that they talk about the cast just as much if not more. I would be willing to bet that there are a lot more Robert Pattinson fansites than Edward Cullen fansites, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. So believe them if you will, but I think you are being duped if you do. It is Summit after all! They are the true turds of Hollywood!

Note: The whole thing smells of a rat akin to the inept merketing ploy used by aging rockers Buckcherry in 2008. They published an indignant press release saying that someone "leaked" their song "Too Drunk" onto a torrent sharing site. They were found out. The same will happen with Summit.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

SAG Blocks Pattinson from accepting role as firefighter!

It was widely reported that actor Robert Pattinson was involved in talks with the producers for the upcoming remake of Towering Inferno last week. It all came to a halt today as the Screen Actors Guild stepped in between the hunk and the production company, virtually begging them to abandon the collaboration. In a private meeting with the actor, SAG president Ken Howard personally asked Pattinson to give up the role. Our sources stated that when faced with the gravity of the situation the British actor agreed to do so saying “It just makes sense.” It seems that all parties came to agree about one thing. Robert Pattinson in a fire fighters uniform is something so sexy that the world isn’t ready for it!
“Do you REALLY think that anyone is going to stand in line for an Adam Sandler rom-com when we have Robert Pattinson running around in uniform?” Howard said at a press conference early this afternoon. “We have always known that women love a man in uniform. And when that man is R-Pattz, all the other movies released that month are going to flop! That’s why we asked him to decline the role.”
According to an SAG press release this is not the first time a lead actor has been asked to decline a role. In a similar case George Clooney was asked to turn down a role as Don Juan and it is widely reported that Megan Fox has agreed never to wear a nurse’s uniform in an SAG production. Interestingly, Russel Crowe and Ridley Scott were not reprimanded for producing Robin Hood, even though it’s viewers suffered an alarmingly high in theater suicide rate!
We lucky enough to speak with Pattinson and Clooney about the topic and both were refreshingly candid about the whole thing. “I guess you could say it wasn’t unexpected” Pattinson said while combing his fingers through his trade mark locks. “If you have seen my fans they are absolutely mad! I can imagine that if the movie had been made, every firefighter in the country would have loads of women lining up!” Of course we had a laugh about it, but the reality of it is that if the world got an epic movie starring Robert Pattinson as a fire fighter, absolutely nothing would get done.
“Who wants to go see another Pixar movie about farm animals when you have that going on?” George Clooney is waving a preproduction mock up of Rob in uniform at my nose. “I showed this to my 90 year old aunt and she was acting like a 12 year old.” Shaking his head he went on.  “In fact” Clooney said “Putting Rob Pattinson in a firefighters uniform is damn near equal to setting off a nuke. The man is sexy. AND I KNOW SEXY!” Coming from the 12 time world’s sexiest man this is a strong statement indeed!
According to the SAG release, the projected losses suffered by other productions would be around 3 billion dollars if this movie is made. “We just hated to do it, but it was the only choice.” Howard told us. “I know how good it would have been. That is my burden. It’s what makes my job so damn difficult. I know how good it would have been.” So do we. So do we.
Personally I hope that we still have a chance to see Robert Pattinson don the uniform, but I am afraid it will not be for a long while. The world is just not ready. Until that day comes we will have to be satisfied with what we have. But we can always hope!

Photo: Courtesy of Amanda Johnson, 2011