Craigslist Nightmares! Harrisburg PA!!!

If you didn't know, I recently spent 8 days in New York City and I am now heading south on an Amtrak train. It was good to go to New York because my only other experience in the Big Peach or whatever they call it was on The 8th Grade Trip; during which my time was spent trying to buy switchblade knives and look at boobies. I also fell asleep during one whole act of Phantom of The Opera and missed another due to dysentery (or something). Now, as an adult I could really maximize my switchblade buying skills! Sadly, I quickly learned that I was meant for a smaller, less polluted pond, and now I am bound for Harrisburg PA, on the way to Charleston SC and Chattanooga TN. So in order to acquaint myself with this new town, I went straight to Craigslist to see what the local perverts were up to!

HEY PENNSYLVANIA PERVS! I"M LOOKING FOR YOU!!!!!

 As per typical BS report standards, when I have pictures from the posts themselves I will use them and mark them as such. Today most of my findings did not so I will try to add a few pictures from my personal collection to make things fun. So buckle your seat belts, and let's get started!

6) Someone to relax with - m4w - 24 (Mechanics burg)

I like to watch movies and tv shows on Netflix to relax before and after work. I work a second shift job, 2:30 to 11:00. The only thing is I'd really like someone to enjoy it with me. This isn't about sex, that would be kind of hard with the 3 dogs anyway. I do live with my parents and my brother, yes I live with my parents, I'm trying to save some money to purchase a home. But enough back story. I'm just looking for someone to come over sometime between 9 and 12 to just watch Netflix with me and we can just relax before a hectic day of work. I'm a nice guy, and bit shy at first, I open up and I'm funny as I get to know you. If you've got some free time and don't mind 3 dogs hanging around us send me an email. 

What does it mean?

To begin with, this is about SEX. SEX and DOGS! DOGS WHO WILL BE WATCHING! There is also the distinct possibility that his parents and brother will be listening WHILE YOU ARE HAVING SEX TO NETFLIX!!!! WHILE THE DOGS HOWL AND STARE!!!!!! Also, are you ready for your morning sex? With THREE DOGS WATCHING? Lastly, there is no question that this guy has a terrible smelling room. With dog hair everywhere! Go for it ladies!!!!

You don't mind three dogs do you? I've been told I look like Ben Stiller too!

 

 

5) Fun and ticklish? - ww4ww - 29 (central Harrisburg)

Hi, Looking to see if by chance there are any other women who might be into pretty ticklish women? we are looking for all types, If you are a gal who thinks being tickled by another woman or tickling another gal would be fun then we need you, basically shooting fun tickling videos and are looking for girls or girlfriends who might think this would be a fun opportunity,, anyways, hope to hear from everyone interested:) these are alot of fun,, hurry and write us girls! the more ticklish the better,,Oh and if you have cute ticklish feet, even better,,haha

What does it mean? 
OK, we all know what it means. Moving right along...

Yes I know they didn't specify "Asian" but it's a pretty safe bet they just forgot to say it! HEE HEEE!!

 

4) I just want to cuddle!! - m4w - 25 (Harrisburg)

I know this is bad because I am involved with someone. It is very rare that we cuddle though! :-(
I am NOT looking for sex, I am looking for someone that wouldn't mind layng down and watching a movie.. sitting on the couch and watching a movie, having a conversation..
I am 420 friendly, I do also drink at times..
I'm 5'9. About 130lbs.

Change subject to "i'll cuddle with you"

Race, size, height doesn't matter!! Send at least 2 NONNUDE pics plz 

What does it mean?

This post has a lot going on. To begin with, cuddling is another word for sex. Probably rough sex. Second, he starts the post talking about his relationship, so STD's are most likely involved. This could be a wonderful opportunity! Then he says "I am NOT looking for sex" which means "I AM LOOKING FOR KINKY, KINKY SEX! Of course you have the option of having the sex with him while either lying down or sitting on the couch. He will be both drunk and high so your conversations ought to be fun as hell! Also this guy is skin and bones, so if you do cuddle it is bound to be a bit uncomfortable. Lastly, SEND NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDEEEEEE PIIIIIICCCCCSSS!!!! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAH LADIES, MY RIDE DOES HAVE A SPOILER! THANKS FOR ASKING!

3) Hang out? Hot tub? - m4w - 31 (Harrisburg)

Any women out there 18 to 40 want to come over tonight and hang out? We can have a few drinks...shoot some pool....hit my hot tub...just hang out and bullshit. This is not a ploy for sex! As i'm sure that's what most of you are thinking. NO sex! Just hanging out..meeting a new friend...... 

What does it mean?

THIS IS A PLOY FOR THE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HELP! MY HAND IS BECOMING A DESK!!! NOW IT WONT FIT IN THE HOT TUB! (real picture from post)

 

 

2) Access to a hot tub - m4mw - 44 (Hershey/Palmyra/Annville)

Would like to have access to someone's hot tub to soak with my girlfriend. Must be discreet so my wife doesn't find out. Would not use very often, but once in a while would be nice to be able to hang out with her. You can join as well, but no looking into a swinging situation. Thanks

What does it mean?

Yes. You have just been asked if some guy can come to your house and bang his girlfriend in your hot tub. It doesn't look like you get anything out of it either, perhaps you get to watch though. And you can't tell the wife! It seems like a great deal, and if there is a hot tub where I am staying I am replying. Sometimes the deals on here are just great!

Could you please clean it before we come over? Thanks!

  

  

1) looking to trade wifes photos for email - 32

We recently left Comcast and my wife liked their email service, plus we watched their streaming content online. We would be willing to trade photos for an @comcast.net email account. Photos of her or photos of us together, you choose. Use the word 'comcast' in your reply or it goes into the spam folder automatically. 

What does it mean?

This couple just really loves Comcast email. A LOT.

I'm sooo hot for Comcast... (real picture from post)

 So in closing, let's just say I am more than a little excited to be arriving in Harrisburg! Love Buzz!