Sunday, February 23, 2014

North To Alaska!

  1. Hey you bastards! I just went to my website and saw the creepy no shirt guy from my last entry making look even weirder than usual. So as I have been getting interested in Alaska (on account of my old pal Glen LeBaron and the rest of the Bering Sea Gold crew), I decided to check out the Craigslist Strictly Platonic in Anchorage AK. I found GOLD right away! This post was so good, that I will try to let it speak for itself with some brief comments at the end, and by bolding and italicizing important sections of text. Thank you come again, Buzzsaw!

Skulls and Candy! - m4w - 29

The horse is named Russell. [caption not included in original post]

age : 29 body : thin height : 5'9" (175cm) status : single

M: So. You opened it. Now you should respond to the post.
Y: Why?
M: Because I can make you laugh and feel better.
Y: How do you plan on doing that?
M: Ha ha. You will just have to find out.

OK. I work for a living and have all my own things. I don't do drugs but I do drink. I'm fun loving and caring. I have no diseases and pride myself on staying clean. I hate drama so don't bring any with you. You will have to find out more later. :-P
So if you are female of any size any race ages 18 - 30 you should email with me just because. I may post this in any personals ad area but what I am looking for is convorsation for starters then from their who knows what this world will bring. I am open minded (but not for another man)

Change the subject line to MEOWING MOOSE and your pic gets mine. Although a pic would help weed out spam as well. If you aren't the one holding the cam, or it isn't a webcam photo, AUTO DELETED! I hate spam...

Brief Notes: You are going to get murdered if you respond to this. Love Buzz

Saturday, February 15, 2014

A Harrisburg Valentine (Boxing Day)!!!!

HI THERE! It's what all the youth are saying! Or so they tell me on Linkdin! Which by the way is the best place to meet fun and adventurous lovers...but of course this is not about my dalliances in and around the worlds most successful professional networking site! No! This is about craigslist. The place you people go to exchange bodily fluids and pay people to spank you! So here we go with round two of Harrisburg Valentines! Buckle your seat belts and keep your vomit bag handy!

Looking for a date or a friend - not a trick! - 60 - m4m (Harrisburg)


Does anybody date anymore, without expecting to jump into the sack with a total stranger? I wouldn't mind dating, with no expectations. Or, friends to do things like hiking and biking. For friends, your age and shape doesn't matter. For dating, please be height/weight proportionate. I'm 5'7", 143 pounds, try to keep in good shape and looking for same.

CLEAR face pic needed for response. OK, what part of "CLEAR face pic" is above the comprehension level of some people? Hiding behind sunglasses, in a pic that requires a microscope to view, doesn't count!

Speaking of pics - I'm an amateur photographer who can take decent pics if you need to update the pics you have.

Comments: Yes. I lied. I have further comments. And questions. Such as: Did he take this picture in a walk in freezer? Is it totally CLEAR what he means by CLEAR? Did he make himself CLEAR? How molested do you feel now on a scale of 1-10? 10? Oh, CLEARLY you need to read it again and you would have said "11"! Oh, would you like him to take some nude pictures of you? CLEAR NUDE PICTURES???? Ah, now we are cooking with gas! Speaking of gas, did you think he would take nude pictures without first giving you a bit of laughing gas? Can you feel those handcuffs? It shouldn't hurt a bit......

Need a spanking friend - m4w - 32 (32)

age : 32
I'm looking for a friend who would like the kind of relationship where we hang out, watch movies, maybe get dinner sometimes, but also where one of us gets spanked. I'm not looking for sex out this, although i wouldn't say it's never a possibility. but for right now i just want a Spanking partner/friend. no stress, no pressure to be more. just simply spanking friends. I prefer to give, but don't mind taking one every now and again

Comments: Oh, you poor bastard. you thought I was joking about this. Well the joke is on you because to someone as well versed in the depravity of Craigslist Strictly Platonic posts this is very much run of the mill. I am actually falling asleep typing this. NEXT!

Naked Book Club - m4w - 36 (Mechanicsburg)

age : 36
Yes. You read it correctly.

Naked Book Club

Real people. Good books. Great conversation. No clothes.

What better way to start the new year?

Interested? Hope to hear from you.

Comments: Now this is not entirely unexpected, but because it is in Mechanicsburg PA it is even more heelarious than it would otherwise be. Which is pretty hilarious. I reckon they can use pubic hairs to mark their pages when they set their books down. Of course I imagine that the reading material will consist mostly of Tom Clancy with the occasional Daniele Steele. This is Central PA after all!

stadium club. - w4m (steelton )

Me and my friend are going to stadium club. Come chat with us.
We get bored. So we need people to talk to. She's in white and I'm in cheetah. You'll know us.

The Cheetah was moving so fast her pants caught fire!

Comments: Oh yeah. We will know you alright. The Cheetah outfit at The Stadium Club in Steelton PA. Natch. I'll meet you for jello shots and we can bang out an 8 ball in the baffroom. I'm on my way!

S or MWF for Cuddle Friend - m4w (Mechanicsburg)

I am told that there are more women than I realize who are interested in this type of relationship. Why do I only hear from the hookers, the phonies and the immature? Change the subject line to the color of your eyes, tell me about yourself and sorry no BBW's. No sex and no nude cuddling. I can host and live in a condo in Mech. 

Comments: Oh, you thought I was joking about Mechanicsburg PA? Stupid punk! Never doubt me! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Door Neighbor - m4w - 60 (Mechanicsburg)

age : 60 body : average height : 5'10" (177cm) status : partnered
You're my next door neighbor and you are a sweet woman. You borrow something from me on occasions and I think you are a darling. You live near a High School if you see this email me what you borrow.

Comments: Truly, this is one of the weirdest things I have ever seen. Or one of the most normal things to be birthed in the unholy womb of Mechanicsburg PA. And with this I must leave you. To your waking nightmares/ Love and mutual masturbation, Buzzsaw!

Friday, February 14, 2014

A Craigslist Valentines Day (in Harrisburg)!

As the soft pillows of snow drift over the frozen corpses of hobos, the candlelit dinner I microwaved for myself turns my heart once again to love, and my fingers once again to type w w w . c r a i g s l i s t . o r g...
Celebrating one year as a resident of the wonderfully regressive Harrisburg PA, I decided to examine the various local Casanova's, and make my plans for escape. So without further fanfare, I present
A Craigslist Valentines Day (in Harrisburg)!!!!

I just started weekly theorapy. Need to talk to someone about it... - m4w

Crazy : Have paperwork to prove it.
So last December I started weekly theorapy. I don't feel different or see any changes. My family said they see a change though.
I am just looking fr some who is or was in long term theorapy about expected results or their experiences.
I am thinking of stopping due to the expense and the fact I don't feel different and just wanted some insight from others bout it before I make a rash decision.
Thanks for any insight. 

But Buzzsaw, what the hell does it really mean? Ah, damn good of you to ask hypothetical reader, damn good. As you may have noticed, this is a man deep in theorapy, which upon further googling, took me to a page defining "therapy"! Ha! But he says it three times, it must MEAN something! Yes, yes it does. It means that this poor bastard was not lying when he said "Crazy: Have the paperwork to prove it." And to that end, it makes our friend the last honest man on the internet, which is why he made the cut. Oh, and if you were wondering, of course this is about sex. He is in sex theorapy.


Man scape - m4m (Harrisburg )

Are you looking for someone to trim or shave your pubes or balls? Message for more details, include pic and age

Virgin - m4w - 20 (Harrisburg)

Hey guys im just looking for any women to take my virginity im tired of being a virgin i just want to to know what it feels like. Im 20 years old and in the surburban harrisburg area please email me with the subject virgin and a pic so i know which is real and not a scam. PleAse somebody im tired of me being the only one out of my friends thats a virgin. Pic for pic in email 

But Buzzsaw, why in the heck did you make me read that shit? What the hell? To that I respond that it was your choice to read about Ball Shaver and the lonely virgin. And my reason for featuring them together? Perhaps if they could meet, the virgin could get his balls shaved and thus greatly increase his chances of sticking his wang inside another human. Which of course is the end game really. Which is fucking weird if you think about it. Damn we spend a lot of time, in fact most our time just so we can writhe with other humans and make bizarre faces when you shoot various bodily fluids at our co-conspirator. So I digress, but it was a fun feature nonetheless if I do say so myself!


Medical services - m4m - 45 (Chambersburg)

age : 45
New to the area and in need of a male family doctor that can give a thorough medical exam. By this I mean a doctor that can take the time to really examine his patients (i.e., prostate check, hernia, etc). If you know someone, please send me the information.
I am also looking for a dentist. 

"I'm writing you a prescription for my whole hand up your ass!"

But Buzzsaw, why is this confusing? The man is looking for a "doctor" to jam things up his ass and cup his balls while he coughs, so why would is not be sexual? Well now, aren't you discerning! And that is exactly what I was thinking at first glance. Until the very end. That's right. The dentist. Now we all know that there is a turn on for everyone, from leopard print to being a victim of armed robbery, everything makes somebody ooze goo from there crotch. But dentistry? Nope. Not one person could possibly be turned on by it. So here we are, at a delightful impasse.


male lookin for girl(s) to lift - m4w - 55 (carlisle)

age : 55
male wants woman/women to lift no one over 150 apply. circus is coming to town and i am trying to get in as a circus strongman. but need woman/women to lift and carry. pays 30 dollars for about 25minutes of allowing me to lift and hold u. Various lifts. please send weight and picture. More info to follow if i get applicants. no clothes off, prefer woman to wear jeans or shorts since overhead lift would pull your blouse out of your pants prefer u wear blouse over pants.

Our friend, in his youth.

But Buzzsaw, what in the HELL do you have to say about a 55 year old man from Carlisle PA who is trying to act out fantasies about being an olde timey strongman? We both know damn well that there is not a circus coming to town, and if there were, what is his plan? To pop out of a hedge bearing his buxom beauties? Would they hire him? Fuck! To which I respond, nothing. I have nothing to say.

So there you have it, a Harrisburg Craigslist Valentines for the ages!

Love Buzzard