Saturday, November 19, 2011

Rejected BS: Behind The Scenes (of a genius at work)

During the past week I have attempted to write one failed blog update. I was attempting to show the world how silly, and irritating "Movember" is. I realized too late that I could simply do this:

We can only hope he ends up like Isadora Duncan!
You see, being funny is not a hard science for me (like being an egomaniac, or having body odor). Some people may be able to write regularly and hilariously, but it seems I am irregular. So today I give you a couple ideas I have been toying with.

1) America is Jesusland

For those who want it as simply put as possible, its not. It never has been. Yet still people (jackasses) insist on calling the USA, "A Christian Nation"! Sadly for them, it is not true. To refute that theory in as few words possible: If you read the bible, you will see that Jesus was in favor of paying even "unfair" taxes, and our founding fathers did not. Of course it doesn't matter. Even if I were willing to do the research and try to "write it out all purty" I would only reaffirm those who already agreed with me, and the others would call me a "dickfor" (they would be correct). Also, why waste time writing when this picture is available:

The America part is communicated through the "subtle" color scheme.

2) My Personal Life

Going from very single to very much in a relationship with a hilarious child, I am tempted to write about it. Yet, I want to keep some aspects of my life private (such as the staggering amount of Barbie washing I did this week). What is the balance? Will I start giving out sex tips? Who knows what the future may hold. But all you get this week is a family picture:

"Hotness" is a disease we suffer from.
3) This guy:

writer - m4w - 31 (renton )
Date: 2011-11-17, 9:31AM PSTBottom of Form
Hello, I am a writer who is printing a script, I need a king county library card number to print, ive used my allowance up for the week, plus my dads and my unlces and my moms, anyone want to help me out and donate their 75 page printing allowance to me?

His "unlces" lent them their library cards, will you?
Wrap up:
I hope you learned something in our time together today, though I suspect your mind was elsewhere. That is fine. Mine is as well. Obviously. So goodbye, God bless America (courtesy of Toby Keith),
with love,

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