VERY good fisherman! Minneapolis Craigslist Again!

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Strange Request Number One

For those who are interested (I'm looking at both of you) it shall be known henceforth that I have made the decision to stay and live in Harrisburg PA. It has been nearly 3 1/2 weeks since I arrived here and ten days since I made up my mind. The following post has nothing to do with this. At the start of the year I had almost completely finished my album and was in New York starting to write my book (My Name is NOT Edward), then things changed, I arrived in Harrisburg, got work, got sick, and found myself not writing but watching movies and resting. Once I realized that yes, I actually do need to get back to writing, I found myself in the unenviable position of kick starting my creative process after some days of relaxing. In order to do so I embarked on a bit of a journey.

During my countless hours of combing the Craigslist Strictly Platonic section I have come to notice some patterns. The newest one was that any post which contains the phrase "strange request" is going to be crazy as hell. I have found a few before which I used, but I hadn't searched for that particular phrase. So the other night I did that. All over the US. Of course it doesn't always come up, so I augmented my "research" with the keyword "Asian" which provided copious low hanging fruit as well. The following item was posted in its entirety on Minneapolis Craigslist and due to its relative insanity and length, I decided to feature it alone. Since it is so long management has urged me to insert pictures and captions throughout to break it up. That will be my contribution to this gem. If you are truly unfortunate I may add a bit of breakdown at the end where we look at some takeaways. So without further ado:

Any ladies want a good guy? - m4w - 27 (South metro)

Hello, I like to share a bit about myself and if you like it Post me something about you. But 1st Post in subject. " Color of your hair"

In this case pick one or two colors of hair.

Im not and WILL NOT EVER BE A SICKO like other MALES on Craigs list who show there Johnsons. 

Go ahead, search "There Johnsons" on Google Images. This was number four.

That is a private thing between you and your girl Not for everyone to see!

I am a white Norwegian guy who works 2 jobs. I lived in Norway for 12 years and visited Europe a few times. I was born on in Minnesota though. 

I had this taken the day I killed my first Reindeer!

I have my own Car and was close to buying a new house this summer but with 1 restriction I can fix and get a place this summer. 

Just one restriction....

A bit about my past history on Dating. I only been with 4 ladies on dates. My 2nd lady I was with I proposed to her 6 years ago, But sadly she got into a car accident and passed away. ;(

I KNOW YOUR PAIN BRA!

 During that time I was going to school and Graduated with 3 degrees. 

I was actually giving a speech at another graduation because I just got too many degrees!

When my girlfriend passed away, My family at the time happen to also have health issues and so did I. 6 days after my girlfriend passed away I had a Stress heart attack. (it does take 1-2 years for a person to re coop). I moved back with my mother at this time. When I was close to moving out. My mother had a PE. and I stayed to help her. I find Family is 1st. Its all you have.

This is me having a stress heart attack!

 From learning from my past I like a person who caring and honest as I am. I don't cheat, play or do any those type of games!. 

In fact, I only play for keeps!

I have morals and ethics like 95% of Guys don't have. They want 1 thing from you "the " bed, But I look at it. Ok that's great you scored and.... that leads what bragging?

I'm not gonna brag but my dead girlfriend said I had a nice pickle!

 Now it shows you your immature. Any who I want a person I be friends with and I could care with. It doesn't have to lead to the Bed. I be happy to be happy again with someone I could care about. 

I wouldn't be upset though if the "bed" was your place for relaxing.... ;)

Honest and morals and ethics imo are the best I got. I would say Im not the greatest looks. But I have a personality and caring. 

The glasses show off my zany side!

I enjoy Sports (I use to be a kicker/punter for the Badgers) I am a Football fan, Viking fan. Baseball, Hockey. I enjoy golfing bowling skying. I don't really go to bars, I never really a fan. I love plays, concerts, Operas, Art, Photos, Karaoke, Walks.

Kicker or punter. I'm just a sports nuts!

I am not the greatest communicator or best to understand on what you want at times. I can tell you why if you ask :) But trust me I do care!

I try to pick role models who are excellent communicators to improve my communicate!

What type of Ladies I like. I prefer Western Europe background. AKA Whites preferred type. Blond, Burnett's,

I REALLY like Burnett's!

  I am Not really into Read heads but you can still post I would consider ^_^.

I said READ heads! But you may as well fill out an application anyway, but you must provide three references!

If you are an Asian I might go for that if you are cute ^_- 

Nope! Thanks for trying!

 I like watching and doing a lot of lady type of things. I enjoy just being with a lady that I could care about, as deeply as my last girlfriend who passed away. Will you be the lady?

OK, I admit, we both just really need to get lei'd!

I dont want you to send a photo. I want you to Answer my question and tell me more of yourself ! (((((( Post in subject. " Color of your hair")))))) 

 



So there you have it. The most insane strictly platonic ad thus far in 2013. And no, I have nothing else to say. Buzz.

Any Financially Amazing Men Out There?

Honestly, who in their right mind would skim past this quirky post. I had to look this is what I found:

Any financially amazing men out there?? - 30 (South Metro)

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Date: 2011-02-09, 4:32PM CST

I am interested to see if there are any here in Minnesota that are just fun and sweet. I hope your out there. Can't wait to hear from you!

It seems that the author has abandoned her search for financially amazing men instead looking for "fun" and "sweet" guys. For me this is good. If I were more financially amazing, perhaps I would be disappointed. The post fills me with questions. Does she mean rich? If that is the case I would never qualify. Despite my lack of wealth, I think I could paint a pretty good case for being financially amazing. To begin with I am not in much debt. My college loans are paid off. My rent is paid despite the fact that I have been self employed for 9 months. When I started my business it was done using cash. No borrowed money and no one to answer to. These are quite rare in a society that preaches the gospel of mortgage and credit like they are saving lost souls. If these meant I was financially amazing perhaps I could be her new man. Unfortunately she is in Minnesota, and though I am financially amazing, I am not financially amazing enough to get to Minnesota, unless she is financially amazing enough to fly me out!

Perhaps by financially amazing she is talking about my ability to save money while still getting cool stuff. I am sure anyone reading this can appreciate the fun that comes from spending money buying things. Me too. Especially if I am a little depressed. They say that it doesn't actually help, but when you are as financially amazing as me, it does. My method for shopping spree's is very specific. There is a store which was started in Austin TX called Half Priced Books. It is truly wonderful. They have a policy that lets you get paperback books at half off the cover price! This is truly financially amazing!

What I do is look for paperbacks from the 1960's or 50's. At that time paperbacks were usually less than $1, sometimes less than $.50! so I can get out of the store with two giant bags of books for often less than $10! Amazing! Financially AMAZING! All told I feel that I am qualified to be called financially amazing!

Not to brag, but I think I am financially amazing because despite being terrible at selling, I managed to run a business in which I charged people money to take their pictures with me. This is not only an odd profession, but it is psychologically weird as well. In spite of my awkwardness, body odor, inability to stop talking, and many more odd quirks, I survived. Of course I would have liked to survive at a higher standard of living than I did, but such is life. Life as a man who can boldly claim to be "financially amazing!"

Note: Just in case you were wondering if I were financially amazing enough to loan you money, feel free to email me you bank account info as well as social security number, credit card number, PIN number, and any other financially amazing info you might have. I will then put the money into your account. Thank you.