Monday, January 17, 2011

Ten of todays questions answered truthfully!

Due to my overt sexiness/genius I get people asking me a lot of questions. I answer them because I am such an awesome person in general. Here is the latest batch:
1)      The Snoqualmie River was flooding this morning. Are you out of harm’s way over there? PJ in Seattle
Dear PJ, thanks for asking. I do indeed make my home near both the Snoqualmie and the Raging Rivers. Fear not though, my home is on a ridge overlooking the Snoqualmie valley. I appreciate your concern, not to worry. Just within the past 5 years I have escaped from the KGB (Briansk Russia, 2007), nearly been smashed by a runaway jeep in a welding shop (Seattle, 2008), ridden in the trunk of a car on a tow truck on the hottest day of summer (Snoqualmie Pass, 2006), and lived as the World’s Most Twidentified Man (2009-present). I don’t think a little bit of flooding is something to worry about! Buzzy
2)      What are your favorite movie, song, and band? Anon in Philly
Dear Anon, Movie-What about Bob? Song-I Shall Not Be Moved by Pops Staples, Band-The Band, Thanks for asking, IDB
3)      How was your day? Gabriella in Puerto Rico
Dear Gabriella, my day was lovely. I spent the waking hours with an old friend then whiled the rest of the day away being very unproductive. It was lovely. In fact other than 3 hours of work I did this Q&A is the only thing I have done. Pretty lazy huh? Barnes
4)      Dear Sir, will you poke me please? Wendy in Colorado
Dear Wendy, if I had ANY idea what you are talking about I would be glad to. Unfortunately I have NO IDEA what that means. Literally none! So if you would like to meet me for a bisquit and tea perhaps we could talk about it! BTW, in Australia they call them “bickies!” Sincerely, the genuine fake Edward
5)      How do you deal with getting “Twidentified”? Do you realize you are as good looking as he is? Masked and Anonymous
Dear M&A, in order to address this I must first explain that he of course is Robert Pattinson, star of the Twilight Saga. “Twidentified” means having someone say we look alike. OK, that’s out of the way, so first things first. Every twidentification is different. I never know how it is going to happen. It can be quick, it can involve cars pulling over. Sometimes all that has to happen is for a kid to burst into tears at the sight of me. The truth is it usually happens when least expected. Often it is a passive Twidentification, in these cases I sometimes find out days or months later, or I just have to guess. Honestly it is really stressful, that is why I wanted to write a book, at least I can try to communicate on some level what it is like to be me.
As for the second question. I have no idea if I am or not. It is a “normal” thing for me to hear that I am “better looking than the real guy too!” which believe me is very strange. In all honesty I don’t care. I would rather have people read my blog or listen to my music. There are plenty of good looking guys, I am blessed to be one of them (or so they say). Truthfully; though I may seem crazy, I am kind of shy. I prefer reading a good book to going out a lot of the times. I would rather be at a small gathering than a party. I enjoy performing because it makes it easier to meet people. I love to talk but hate approaching strangers. The point is, does it matter? Ian
6)      How long have you like applesauce? Colleen, OR
Dear Colleen, 42. IDB
7)      When do you plan on coming to Colorado and have a beer together? Cam in Colorado
Dear Cam, whenever I can afford to tour. I am currently broke, which is fine. I am writing a book and I can survive. If I am able to get the book published with proper promotion I am sure I will be able to do extensive touring to promote it. That is where I shine, so I would hope that it would come together. It will take the cooperation of my friends and family to help promote my stuff, I can’t do it alone, and quite frankly the book is as much for everyone else as it is for me. I hope that through me telling my story it will help people take risks and do things they feel are right, even when people call them crazy! Love Ian “Buzzsaw” Barnes
8)      Hey buddy the elf, did you ever get headshots taken? M in M
Dear M in M, I thank you for realizing that I am indeed an elf. As for your question, yes I have some good pics. Lovely, Ian
9)      What is one of your dearest treasure, something that would be heartbreaking to lose? Your friend from Hawaii
Dear friend, It would have to be my Yamaha solid top acoustic guitar Charlotte. I have several other instruments, some of which are worth more money, but you cannot replace a treasured friend. I got that guitar when I was 15, I was terrible, and put it away until I was almost 20, at which point I knew I needed to play it. It is not the easiest guitar to play, the strings are high off the neck, and I play thick strings which makes it worse. But it is a great sounding guitar. Not only that but I have written at least 200 songs on that guitar. I have covered the back with stickers, it has cracks and marks that I could tell long stories about. In 2005 I took it to Japan and played with Goodtime Charlie Nagatani, Japan’s most famous country singer. It was a journey of a lifetime, when I was leaving his club for the last time he signed it “Best of Luck” Charlie. On the shoulder strap I have collected a lot of items from my travels. A rock from Russia, a flower given to me by a gypsy girl, a tiny Korean drum key chain. That guitar has been my friend, through think and through thin. I nearly lost her before, I won’t lose her again. Love Ian
10)   Have you ever been in a Turkish prison? Bob from Turkey
Dear Bob. I have not but I would love to try it once for the experience. Do they still chop off hands in Turkey? If so can you recommend me a crime that will let me keep my hands while at the same time getting to experience a Turkish prison firsthand? Love always, your friend, Buzzsaw

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