Monday, November 19, 2012

Everyone has a doppelganger.

In Johnny Cash's brilliant auto biography Cash, he says this: "They say that everyone has their own personal Elvis. Mine just happened to be the real Elvis." To be honest I don't know why I felt compelled to share that when I am talking about doppelgangers and picture takin' but you dear reader are smart enough to make some sort of connection.

They say that everyone has their doppelganger, and for me my doppelganger is everyone. I mean damn near everyone! Starting at the age of 12 with McCaully Culkin, continuing through with John Mayer and Jude Law in the university days (the Japanese students said "Jude Raw" which I think may be my porn alter ego if things go poorly). By then of course I sort of got used to hearing people tell me I looked like some celebrity or acted soooo much like their really weird friend (funny, I never meet any of the people I supposedly act like). But things started to take a turn for the strange in 2009 when a movie called Twilight was released on DVD. Judging from all the craziness, it seems that those other blokes were not actually my doppelganger. It was to quote Clel Henson, proprietor of the Lake Pleasant Service station "You look like this guy!" at which point he was indicating towards Robert Pattinsons face with his one gloved hand.

[Safety note: If you find yourself in Beaver WA, please, do not eat any of Clel's "hot food"! He wears his one rubber glove as if to keep you safe, but then he goes out and pumps gas with it and who knows what the hell else!]

I was going to add a picture of Rob Pattinson, but my readers probably are aware of what he looks like. And this beaver used to be right across from Clel's store.

Anyway, with this one it was different. Way different. First of all, from what I knew about it starting out the story of Twilight was completely uninteresting to me. But it was REALLY interesting to a lot of people! So I jumped in completely, because I figured it was huge enough, with a striking enough resemblance between us that I could make a book out of it if I was crazy enough. [Spoiler: I AM CRAZY ENOUGH!!!!!]

I did this for fun. Need more proof that I'm crazy enough?

Well to get back on track, there was a certain point when I realized that the product I had to sell, which nobody else had was pictures. So I somehow convinced a friend to go with me to Forks and start a proper photo booth to take care of all the tourists. Needless to say it was weird. There is something oddly unsettling about going to bed at night knowing that my only source of income would be generated by random people who were fans of some other dude, who happened to look like my twin (to some people). Just the kind of crazy I thrive in and which really messed me up with stress. But there were upsides.

It feels really good getting paid to take the cutest picture ever!
There were also downsides mainly because I am talented at many things, unfortunately running a business is not one of them. But I have to give myself a break, the whole thing was a mad house. I had all kinds of business proposals, from making Halloween masks with my face (the guy who owned the chainsaw store was keen to do that) to making Twilight themed fragrances.

I kid you not, it was pine scented and he wanted to call it "Wolf Dung"! His name was Norman.
This all got to be too much for old Buzzman, so I just freaked out and got on Facebook. Luckily it was perfect for my craziness and soon I met many friends. Some as far as Italy. Later that year by a sweet stroke of luck I ended up in Baton Rouge with my friend Brooke and her family. Brooke had taken the time to personally make me shirts and burn a CD, Rock & Roll 1962. And when we got to Louisiana her family threw us a party!

Me & Buck & a beer & a truck.
Well that wasn't what I set out to write about, but somehow this story takes twists and turns along the way. I guess that's why it makes a good story. What I intended to write about is how and why I never charge for pictures I take in public. It's not because the people asking for them don't have money. I know damn well they probably have more than me, but it's sort of like this: I do not have advertising on my blog or website and I never will. If you go to a professional comedian or musicians page they won't have advertising. It looks tacky, and more importantly like you don't believe in yourself. whatever faults I have, complete self doubt is not one. It makes people mad when you are confident, but you have to believe if you want to get anywhere. I personally believe that this story is interesting enough to be a best seller. I have to. And now a slice of my life:

I get requests like this ALL THE TIME!!!! Not joking!
My life is so nuts that many times people will take pictures of me "covertly" even though I have developed a sense that lets me know most of the time. I have gotten popped walking, driving, and standing on a damn big log with my friends!

I saw them do it. If I had known they wanted to pay me I would have instantly taken pictures. I was DEAD BROKE! This is as close as I have been to a nervous breakdown. Well two days later anyway.

I was in a lot better head space here. They actually talked to me later too! This lot thought I looked like Taylor Lautner!
I have even had someone sitting in a van, pull out a camera, while I was watching her, and take a damn picture through the window. KNOWING I WAS WATCHING HER! Some girls in the "special press area" at the Twilight deal last week did the same, then when I did it back they turned away like they were famous or something! [Pro-tip: I get the feeling a lot of people in LA think they are famous, except some of the people who actually are!]

Since I can't think of what else to write in connection with that, I'm just going to post a couple more pictures!

Look at the people in the background and imagine the size of the elephant in the room when I leave the house!
This is me on my day off at the hot springs. Its weird. Everyday. But weirder for me than them.
Dude you look like that cat from the Twilight movies!
I promised my cousin I would include her!

Sometimes the job required me to wear ugly as hell crowns! Hot as hell ugly as hell crowns!

Well I don't know what all this means, or where it takes me, or what it makes me. But I want to buy a piece of land and a caboose. That much I know. Love Buzz.

Special consideration to The Mayor, Greg White.


  1. Ian I love reading your posts, you are a clever and amusing writer. More importantly it has been a pleasure getting to know you. Look forward to reading more of your posts.

  2. That was a fun little romp. Appreciate that vicarious feeling of peering into your adventures, knowing I couldn't get away with 10% of them... Thanks for the shout out. -Mayor