Friday, December 21, 2012

San Antonio Jacket Jocks & More: Craigslist in Texas!

Late last night I was staring into Facebook and nothing was going on. I wanted some entertainment but my friends Netflix account had been logged out and I wasn't going to wake him up. So I decided to start switching my profile pics (something I do A LOT). Suddenly I got a message in my in box from a Facebook friend in San Antonio TX. We have been friends for a couple years but never have exchanged messages, just witticisms and carefully chosen barbs. Well I ended up telling her a story which will be going in my book about my first (and only) visit to Austin TX, and unless she was buttering me up, she was quite entertained. So in her honor, I have decided to spend my last few hours in Seattle digging through the San Antonio strictly platonic section of craigslist....I'm sure most of my readers saw that coming. Today I picked only posts which included their own pictures, but as always I provide the captions. The posts obviously have been italicized. Let's get into it!

1) Alone For The Holidays - m4w (NESA)


Date: 2012-12-21, 9:26AM CST


I am alone for the holidays. Looking for someone who might like to hang out go do what ever. I like movies, eating out ridding my Harley, just about anything thats fun. If you are alone o maybe we can hang out and have some fun. Reply with Alone in the subject so I know your not a BOT. Please include your pic and tell me what you would like to do for fun. I am open to ALL things.
This picture taken from the POV of his last murder victim!
Is He A Catch? : First of all he's vague as hell! "Do whatever" "anything that's fun" "hang out and have some fun" "Reply with Alone in the subject" "if you are alone" probably all mean something more along the lines of: Best case scenario this will lead to some very regrettable sex, worst case scenario your body will end up in a barrel full of acetone! One item which I thinks says it is the former is this gem: "I am open to ALL things." Which of course probably means things up the butt. So if you are in San Antonio, you find goatees sexy and you want to put items up this mans ass, please respond!
2) I need an Algebra tutor - m4w - 28 (castle hills)


Date: 2012-12-21, 10:37AM CST


I'm really wanting my GED I've taken the pretest and passed everything but math. I also need to learn how to write an essay.. :) if you can he'll I would "really" appreciate it! I guess I can offer drinks&herb or somethin... lol email with pic please so I know who I'm talking to,thanks
He also failed the part of the pretest about rotating digital pictures!
Is He A Catch?: Well considering he is either a car owner or has been able to sit inside one at some point in his life he is better off than some. And he is showing signs of taking his academic career seriously. See, he's looking for a (female) tutor! Not only that but he is completely willing to get the tutor high and drunk during the tutoring session! This could be a real good deal. Since he is only after a GED level of scholarship many people could probably teach him what he needs gassed up on peyote! And now it is time for a personal note:
[Editor/Buzz: When I was at South Seattle Community College many years ago I had a calculus class at 8 AM, which was a god awful thing. My problem was that I fell asleep in class, which was both detrimental to my learning but embarrassing because I really liked the teacher (a hilarious Ethiopian man named Tesfaye). So because it was happening with such frequency I decided to self medicate. I knew that marijuana actually stimulated my brain and kept me awake, so one morning I blazed up right be fore class and it sure enough worked! I was wide awake! The problem was that I was stoned as hell and couldn't understand calculus at all when NOT HIGH! So when the teacher called on me I never got anything right and was even more of an embarrassment top academia than when I was asleep! Needless to say I decided that sleeping was way better than being wide awake and high as hell!
Note: I have found that for writing and art classes marijuana is not nearly as detrimental as calculus.] Anyway, back to the man child, I would say he's a catch if you want to get wasted. Have a blast! But for goodness sake make sure you meet him in a bar and only drink sealed beverages!
3) Drink anyone? My treat - m4w - 25 (San Antonio )

Date: 2012-12-20, 8:38PM CST

 I'm 25 and in a relationship that is just not working...512 I really want to go 649 grab a drink somewhere 2545tonight... Any ladies that might want to join me? Txt me

"I'm in a relationship that is just not working"

"My treat"
Is He A Catch?: Figure it out for yourself you bastards!

4) Seeking someone with a British or Scottish Accent - m4w - 26 (NC SA)


Date: 2012-12-20, 7:17PM CST


This may be kind of an odd ad but I have recently been into watching BBC shows and one reason is because I love the accent. I am like seeking if there and any women here who have a British or Scottish accent. I like watching shows like The It Crowd, The Mighty Boosh, The Inbetweeners and other movies that take place in Britain/London. So if there is anyone who has an interest in this or who has an accent, please respond to my ad....
My balls are insured by Lloyds of London...
Is He A Catch: NO! He's got a damn Anglophile fetish a mile wide! Texas sized!
This ad stands a chance of not being creepy if he were asking for other people who like those and similar shows! Sadly the only reason he is watching the shows is his fetish! So ladies, if you have a sweet accent/rack, forget this guy and email me!
5) Jacket Jock Lookin For Buddies - m4m - 41 (San Antonio)


Date: 2012-12-20, 9:11AM CST


Hey guys/men, im a 38 yr old ex football jock who still likes to wear his letterman jacket when he messes around, also has a couple of jackets to lend out.

Im lookin for other jocks who still like to wear thier jackets. Lets hang out, chill out, kick back, rassle around while wearing our letterman jackets. Age/race/body type unimportant.

If this interets you, hit me back.

also lookin for a caoh type 65+

Later, pece out

Pictured: Jacket Jock!
Is He A Catch?: Are you joking me right now? This guy wears his 25 year old Letterman's jacket when he fools around! He has jackets to lend out! Fuck yes this guy is a catch! In all my years of research I have A) Never heard the phrase "jacket jock" B) Never heard of anyone with more than one Letterman's jacket and C) fuck this I'm emailing him! Peace!

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