3) want a french braid? - m4w - 21
(houston)
Date: 2012-12-12, 3:32PM CST
i'm just a guy who likes to french braid. I'm looking for a
woman with longish, healthy hair who is preferably single. Again, this would
pretty much just amount to me French braiding hair. Email for moreinfo. If you
want your hair French braided, let me know. :)
Please include a picture of yourself in the email to me, and
if you are real, I'll send one of me. As a note, I am a really cool guy. this
might seem weird, but I'm not. I'm fit, intelligent and good-looking. I just so
happen to really like French braids. :)
Here's a french braid that i've done:
 |
| This is not an actual mannequin head, it is an actual human head! Hee! |
 |
| These human heads are actually nailed to the wall and the braids are shellacked. Which is all part of the process!!!! Hahaha! |
WHAT IN THE HELL DOES IT MEAN???
If you are lucky this intelligent, fit and handsome man will kill you prior to French braiding your hair and then somehow having braid sex with it. That is the best case scenario. He is obviously crazy as hell, even if he isn't a damn killer (yet) he still has mannequin heads with braided hair in his office or TV room or whatever. This if you didn't know, is NOT FUCKING NORMAL BEHAVIOR! And that is coming from a man who spent 6 months of this year living in a van with a mouse in rural Australia. I KNOW CRAZY!!! EDITORS HUNCH: He prefers you be single so YOUR HUSBAND DOESN'T REPORT A MISSING PERSON!
Bored!! - m4w - 30 (North)
Date: 2012-12-12, 5:06PM CST
I have several days of vaction left and must use them before
the end of the year. I plan to get back into my workout routine but wont be
doing that the only time. So I need suggestions cause I am new in town.
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| LOOK AT ME!!! I AM BORED!!!! WHY AM I BORED? PLEASE LADIES, DON'T LET ME BE SO BORED!!!! |
WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN?????
Honestly, I really don't know but it is something about how he's fat and still wants sex. Let's look at the text a bit and see if we can decipher what the hell he is saying (besides: "Look at my sexy shades, tat and Under Armour combo! LADIES!!! LADIES?????"):
"I have several days of vaction left and must use them before the end of the year."
What it probably means: I got fired/never had a job so I have free time.
"I plan to get back into my workout routine but wont be doing that the only time."
What it probably means: I am out of shape and too lazy to start soon. And I failed English.
"So I need suggestions cause I am new in town."
What it could possibly mean: Either he is looking for a gym? Or he is looking for vacation spots? Probably just sex though, so let's say that this post is just a misguided attempt to get sexy. It just feels right to me.
Scrrrrrrratch... - m4w (Houston)
I was a bear in my past life. I really enjoy my upper and
lower back being scratched moderately hard. Aswell, I love a great hair scratch
on the top on my head. While this sounds funny, it's true and I'm willing to put
up some money for it. I don't have a number set in stone so if you are interested,
how about you email me and tell me what you'd accept.
Also, you must be able to host, please.
I want to make this as clear as day, I am not looking for
sex. I'm a man who enjoys having his back and hair scratched. You can get
comfortable too. If you'd like you can turn on the tv, pour you a glass of
wine, let me lay on your lap and scratch away.
You give me an amount first.
Thank you
 |
| Try and figure out what kind of bear he used to be.... |
WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN????
Look, its a dude who used to be a bear who wants to come to your house so you can scratch him. He will pay whatever you want, so fuck you for questioning it! Some people always assume that just because someone wants to come to their house and get scratched while you get drunk and watch TV that there is something sexual going on. EDITORS HINT: THE BEAR IS GOING TO BE AROUSED AS HELL SO DO NOT WEAR A FUR COAT!
Thanks again for reading another installment of the BS Report, I work super hard on this stuff! Yours truly, Bazza
