Thursday, November 18, 2010

Watching TV!

I grew up without a TV. Yes, I am fully aware that it is weird. I was also homeschooled. Thusly, I have severe personality issues and phobias. I also lekrtj. [I actually did not. This was on my computer when I got back in from recording a Townes Van Zandt song on the 11th floor of the New Orleans Hilton].

I have no idea where I was going with that, but it is a decent segue into talking about cartoons. I love cartoons.The Gummy Bears. Darkwing Duck. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Scooby Doo. Mac & Me. The Flintstones. G.I. Joe. Transformers (More than meets the eye), and He-Man. He-Man is a gimme, She-Ra was Hawtt! The Smurfs were always slightly taboo growing up in a conservative christian home, but actually in our household television was considered the Adolf Hitler of household appliances. So, as a very young child I became totally enthralled by cartoons. I thought it was the most beautiful way to tell a story that had ever been invented. Especially while watching Thundercats, and many more. So, I am writing this piece tonight in celebration of the best thing on earth besides harmonicas. Cartoons.

Let's start with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Right out of the gate. Pizza. What bad thing can be said about a mutant reptile that lives off the 'za! Katana's, nunchukas, bo-staves, and some other Japanese weapon I forget. So tight. Also sick. Bray, the turt's bro! Lastly, the villians were great. Krang. Shredder. Rock Steady, and Be Bop. And all of my readers should also try to find Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the live, anti-drug musical. The words "stirring" and "awe inspiring" are insuficient to describe a fraction of how good it is.

Back to the action! I like hand drawn cartoons. The olde schoole. There is something soulful about hand drawn art. Painted. Inked. Not to mention voicing, writing, and producing. Of course we all know that a lot of cartoons a racist as hell, but live action can be too! Just be cause the "Red men" say things like "Squaw, get-um firewood" does not negate the fact that the drawing beautiful. Perhaps the reason cartoons are used for propoganda is that it is so easy to make a grotesque charicature of someone. Sorry, I forgot, I was supposed to talk about cartoons I like. OK.

Inspector Gadget. How cool is it that you could have a vaccuum cleaner pop out of your sleeve. It would make cooking easy. A salad spinner would pop out of your hats at one simple phrase. "Go go gadget salad spinner!" Unfortunately, a lemon squeezer would emerge from your knickers, but that is notthe point. In the end the inspector always solved the case in the end!

I would love to tie this up in a nice tidy bunch. But I don't care. I like cartoons, I just don't like them enough to dress up like one as a hobby. Even for a fetish. I wouldn't even draw myself as an anime. Rather, I would like to voice act the part of Barry the Buffalo on Free Range Steers (I made this show up. It is not real). So, goodbye. Buzzflaw.

ps-I am not even going to spell ckehd this piec


  1. That is very conservative & protective of your family! The Christians I know of who don't watch usual tv shows still watch movies; know of some who work dream jobs @ Disney / Pixar

  2. "olde schoole" That's precious.