Saturday, November 20, 2010

Musings of a hostage...The Italian Space Stallion!

It has been a wonderful trip. I have seen places I would have never seen. But I think things have gotten out of hand! My current location is the food court of the Kennedy Space Center museum. I from where I am seated I can see the "Blast off Bistro" "South of the Martian Border." If I get up I can see "Moon Wok" "Launch Foods" and at the very end, "Italian Bistro." The "Italian Bistro" saddens me because it seems like a little lost sheep on the end. All the other places are cleverly titled with puns while sad little I.B. is forgotten. They should have just called it "The Rocketino", "The Flying Meatball!"  or better yet, "The Italian Space Stallion". It is a decent food court, as food courts go. If I were to buy anything, which I am not it would be from the "Moon Wok." Since I am extremely poor, I am going to have to be content with smelling the food.

Don't get me wrong, I love space. I even like rocket ships. Unfortunately I am not interested in flight simulators and I already looked at all the space suits. In fact I am more interested paying my Verizon phone bill (I just received a phone call from them, I will continue writing while trying to evade my bill)! Anyone who has attempted to call me since June will understand that there is really no reason I should pay that bill. My phone does not even ring except when a bill collector or my mother calls. Even with the ringer volume turned up so loud that it is distorting, I still do not hear my phone. In order to receive a phone call I have to hold my phone and stare at it until it lights up from an incoming call. For this reason I have stopped even trying to answer the phone. But that is not the worst part of my problems with Verizon wireless...

When I got my "smart" phone, a Druid Arris it was out of an immediate need for a new phone. I was moving out of my house, recording an album, welding a gate, among other things. This was in June as Lando and I were getting ready to embark on the odyssey which included a trip to the Twilight Eclipse premier and a summer in Forks WA. While I was up at my friend Shenny's house working on the album and gate I lost my phone charger. I was without a phone for two days which was terrible. I had been trying to organize musicians, the bank, and "concerned" family members, so I needed that damn phone. I decided that I might as well just upgrade to a "smart" phone. [I interrupt this piece to watch The Combustion Show!  One of the things I am most interested in]

The switch was problematic from the start. At the first Verizon store I went to I was informed that I would have to pay full retail price for a new phone. It was so frustrating that I walked out. It was only when I went to the Southcenter mall that I got

 [I tried to tell my Verizon story only because a bill collector called while I was attempting to write about this food court, but the alarming number of Boy Scouts and the volume of the Combustion Show have thwarted any progress I make. I am ashamed that I did not mention the fact that they have "Solar Salads" and the "Zero G Cafe" as well. Our Australian kidnapper is now waiting on the trolley for the 12:00 tour. So I must end this account. "Go heat, fuel, oxygen! This is what I am hearing. Boom. And Lando just walked around the corner with a jumbo pretzel. The combustion show just ended. "Go Heat, fuel, Oxygen!" Yay! I apologize to the world for this. Buzzsaw.

Note: The Verizon debacle involves 5 stores from The Northgate Mall to Santa Monica California. During the summer I had a "contacts list" which was copied from the internet by hand. This was done by a 15 year old Quielleute girl who was one of our interns. I apologize for not elaborating.

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