Monday, November 22, 2010

Ask Buzzsaw! Questions from Around the World!

Dear Buzzsaw/Buzzman I have been a long time fan of yours and I wanted to ask you a sort of personal question. Is that OK? Samantha  in Sydney
Dear Sam, of course it is OK, especially if it is deeply personal. Actually I am kidding, please don’t ask me any questions. Kidding again. It is OK, but remember my mother prereads all of my fan mail so if you do not want me involved in a long awkward convo with my madre, please keep it somewhat decent. By decent I mean anything that will not start a conversation with mom about when I am going to settle down and start breeding. Lastly, I love that you wrote me a question asking if you could ask a question. In closing, Samantha, you can feel free to ask questions anytime you want. I just might not answer them honestly. Especially if they involve money. Love ya, Buzzard
Dear D-Patz why do they call you D-Patz?  Russell C.
Dear Russell C, It is because as Robert Parkinson's fake older brother Richie, I could not use the moniker R-Patz (he already uses it!), also my actual fake story involved going into the witness protection program and a full separation of the Pattinson clan. In short D-Patz stands for Dick Pattinson, my fake abbreviated name. Thanks for asking! Hacksaw
Dear moron, let me out of the locked roof top box. I promise I will not attempt to grope your fans. That is unless they want me to. And I know they do. So let me out you little ninney. I hate you. Signed Dr HS Twilight, best regards.
Dear Dr. Twilight, after the stunts you pulled in Baton Rouge you are permanently on probation. I am currently in the process of working with our defense attorney to try and get them to drop the trespassing and assault charges you have managed to get me involved in during your attempted break-in to the Celtic Studio lot. If I could afford to let you run amuck I would have to be very rich. Sadly for you, I am very poor. So suffer you evil little man! Buzzsaw The Great!
Dear kind sir, my friend had a question to ask you but she is really shy. She wants to know if you would ever be interested in dating a goth, and why or why not? If it is not too much trouble, would you dress as a goth and post the pic? She would love it! Love always Cat!
Hey Cat, you are a really good friend. I am guessing your friend is not a mouse either! Ha! You might be surprised but this is a question I have heard several times this week alone! It seems like I might have a strong gothic following. I really do appreciate the gothic lifestyle, but to tell you the truth Cat, I am not really into heavy make-up and the color black. You see I really like cowgirls and sexy librarians. And for some reason I don’t think I could relax with a goth as a girlfriend. There is just something about going to all that trouble to get dressed and made-up which makes me believe that I would not be a very good goth man. I am really lazy Cat. I am more like a hippie than a goth. All truth be told, since I am not in love, I could actually meet and fall in love with a goth some day, but I have no idea! In the future, I might become a goth! I highly doubt it though! Rock on industrially Cat. Rock on. Buzzsaw PS-Sorry Cat, but it is too much trouble!
Dear Buzzsaw I have been curious for a while, are you a gay? Tom Tom in Philly
Dear Tom Tom, Thanks for asking. My mother wonders the same thing. But as far as I can tell no. Love your Cuz Buzz PS-I am 85-95% sure I am a flaming heterosexual!
Dear Buzzsaw, can you believe that you have to pay for snacks on airplanes now? Marty Stuart
Dear Marty Stuart, I find it kind of shocking that I can take a 4 ½ hour flight and not even get a pack of peanuts. If I was not so disgustingly cheap I would have bought some kind of jerky before I got into this tin can. Unfortunately I am now digesting my stomach lining because I am so hungry. What a pain! Blizzard PS-Marty I loved your mullet in the '80's!
Dear Buzzman, don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you have a big ego. That is why you are trying to be Edward. You even try to tell people that you look like him too. You really just look like Paul Rudd. Duh! Anyway, my friend thinks your hot, but I like your photographer more. He is cute. By the way I am a man. Jane Volterra
Dear Jane Volterra, I love you. Will you marry me? Scuzzsaw


  1. Frontier Airlines offers free warm chocolate chip cookies

  2. Yeah, Ian.. Don't take it the wrong way.. LOL