Monday, October 11, 2010

Funny things I have seen...

When I am out and about I often have a notebook so if I think of something extraordinarily stupid or funny I can write it down. I also like to sketch so I usually carry notepads with unlined paper. I am sure this detail will be intriguing to someone, I feel sorry for that person. Well one day I was visiting my parents, and I took a trip up to Crossroads mall to visit the used book store. When I was walking to my truck I saw something so awe inspiring that I wrote it on the back of my unlined notebook. It was a mid 1980's Nissan truck. The paint scheme was a unique custom stripe, I think a dirty orange with some white. It might have been really cool back in it's prime, but its former glory was far behind it. Now the truck was rather glorious in its own right, but what got my attention was the obviously hand painted sign on the tailgate. It said "Mark's Massage" which I thought was hysterical, given the state his truck was in. Then I walked around it and saw the sign on the side. It said "A hand's on experience". I think I probably came as close as I ever have to losing consciousness due to laughter. It really made me wonder. Which is crazier, Mark, or his clientele? It seems like a no-brainer figuring out that Mark is mental, but he had to have someone in his life who thought it was a good idea. And I highly doubt that he had never had one client. After running a "business" for the last 4 months I have been dumbfounded at the things people buy, and the customer service people have to put up with. And you can trust me, I am famous for giving terrible customer service, then blaming the customer for lack of taste. But even to a creep like me, this truck was too creepy. And "Hands on Experience" is one of the most disturbing slogans I have ever heard. Of course any moron knows that a massage would be hands on, its just that sometimes you don't want to think about it. The closest comparison I can think of would be a restaurant that advertises the fact that you will "Get No Diarrhea" from the food. Or an auto insurance company that says "Drunks Welcome". Those simple little things you can say without saying. Even a drunk would rather talk about a driving infraction then be reminded that he was a drunk. All that to say this, I think that not only was Mark crazy, but that where birds of a feather flock together, you will find a bunch of crazy birds. Giving each other a "wings on experience". Salut, Buzzsaw

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