Thursday, October 14, 2010

Uh, yeah, basically...

I am trying to get warmed up for one more little, but rather important e-mail I need to send, so I went back to what has been my bread and butter, at least of late. Yes, that's right Craigslist, but this time I ventured up across the border, had to see what Vancouver had to offer eh? It took about 10 minutes, I found a few interesting pieces, but nothing which would fuel my fire. Call me co-dependant, I call BS, but I feel somewhat responsible to only bless my readers with the best, the most bizarre, and most shocking that craigslist has to offer. For some reason this one jumped out at me. I think it was the title:

Basically straight & over 65? - m4m - 65 (Vancouver)

Date: 2010-10-10, 7:23AM PDT
If you fit the above description (as I do) & are scanning these postings....and are interested in talking about your experiences on a totally confidential basis, then I'd like to hear from you.
I'm interested in what makes people tick and why they do what they do. We're of a generation that grew up in quite different times.....and before we all disappear, I'd like to capture the flavour of the times & the events that shaped our interests & pursuits.
So if you're game, I'm looking forward to hearing from you - and I'll happily buy the coffee.
If you're intrigued, but hesitant, then you're most certainly the person I'd like to hear from

Sorry, but I have to ask. How can you basically be straight?!! It seems fairly obvious, either you are straight, or you aren't. Or you are a bi-sexual. Though, like the author I too am basically straight I wonder if maybe, I have missed some of the basics...The point is, an essentially straight guy, is seeking another nominally straight guy. Both around the age of 65. It seems a little odd. One would think that perhaps, by the time you are 65, that you really have a firm handle on your sexual preference. Basically. Well this essentially straight 65 year old, is bored. At least it seems like well as senile. I say that because he says "...and are scanning these postings" I don't know, but I think it would be fairly to extremely difficult for even a basically gay man to read this posting, if he were not SCANNING THE POSTINGS! Sorry, but I had to bring that up. It is not like the fairly straight 65 year old man is in a sauna, and his butler will come in with a card on a tray. Wink and leave, because as the butler he would know that the boss is basically straight and would be interested in rehashing the '60's with another fairly straight hippie. Did I lose focus? Sorry, I was basically ranting. I find it endearing that the guy is wanting to listen to someone elses random experiences. Tortured during Vietnam? Want to talk about it? Hate everybody for no particular reason? Have hemorrhoids? Turned your hearing aid down because I was basically frightening? Love to hear about it! "We are a generation who grew up in quite different times". This guy is king at stating the obvious, while at the same time sounding really creepy. I bet he could write a menu and sound creepy. "Think you might like a juicy thick steak?" "Well I would love to show you exactly how we prepare all our meats" "Succulent, juicy, and its watching you, waiting for you to say something about your experiences" "Go ahead, touch it, don't worry, you paid for it, there are others out there just like you" "Quit turning your hearing aid off you bastard!" One approach I find unique, and perhaps it is why I fell in love with this posting, in a basically straight way, is how he makes it sound like the other guy is about to die, basically straight, without ever knowing if perhaps he is basically gay.  "...before we all disappear" "What shaped our experiences". Not that it is impossible, and if some old person decides to try something new that is up to them, I just think the post is laid out in a sort of scary and bizarre fashion. It ends by saying that whoever is most hesitant is the perfect candidate! So weird. But it could be that maybe it is me. Am I writing this because I wish I were a 65 year old basically straight man? Maybe. The funny thing is, many people reading this have no idea, because they don't know me. Well I will tell you this. I am 31, as far as I know, basically straight as well, and damned if I don't have a real desire to take this guy up on his offer for a cup of coffee. Of course I have no idea if I would be able to get him to go for it, but these type of things really intrigue me. And from the sound of it the guy is basically old, so I am not scared that I would meet up with him and he would basically turn out to be a rapist, because I feel that unless he was a trained fighter, body builder, or was in the least bit active, I could fight him off, basically. So, wish me luck, I am going to lie to this guy, just to see what he basically looks like.

Note: Buzzsaw is 67. He wrote the post. He is most certainly basically a-sexual. He is a confused, confused, disturbed man. Keep him in your prayers, he is basically a moron. Before he disappears, try to get him to sign up for a lobotomy. At least. He is basically crazy, has poor taste, not to mention basically terrible hygiene. So people, please pray for Buzzsaw, he is basically a mess!

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