Thursday, October 14, 2010

More of the same...

Even though I think I have a job lined up for the winter and spring, I can't help wondering what else is out there. So I continue looking. Maybe I will always be dissatisfied, or maybe that greener pasture does indeed exist. In my humble opinion, judging be some of the advertisements I see it truly does. Here is an example of some of the wonderful jobs available:

Psychic? Real or Fake? (Se)

Date: 2010-10-07, 6:49PM PDT
Wondering if there is someone out there who is a real Psychic or one who can pass as one for a party on the 23rd. Needing entertainment for a party.
Person would be a in private area with guests going to you.
A real fun position.
Please send a pic with reply.

This seems like a great job. Not only do you not actually have to be a psychic, but you would be able to just sit around and wait for party guests to come to you. I wonder if real psychics would be turned off by being mentioned in the same sentence as fake psychics? I know that if I were truly clairvoyant I would be more than slightly miffed. It is not like you wake up one morning and realize that you can predict the future. It takes years of training and hardship to get to the level of psychic professional. Do you think Nostrodamus would have been happy about going to a party and trying to "ammuse" inebriated party goers? No way! The man was a professional! In fact even though I am not really even a fake psychic, I find it offensive that this party planner takes psychic powers so lightly. Do you know that the US government employs more than 7,000 psychics full time? Well they do. And that is why you have not had to livethrough WWIII! No kidding. Even during our time in a global recession, the psychic/clairvoyence industrie is still booming! I could tell you why, but then I would just be stating the obvious. Of course we want to know the future. It would protect us from bad relationships, financial hardship, and above all invasions from outer space. The last being by far the most important. So no kind sir, I am not interested in this "job", I find it offensive, and more than a little disturbing. If this party is your idea of a "fun" time, I think it should be reconsidered. What about the poor party goers? Do they know it is a fake? If they go to the fake psychic, and decide to change their stock portfolio based on some "harmless fun" they could end up facing a financial disaster. Oh sure, it might be a gas to "PREDICT A FAKE FUTURE", yeah, but what if the fake tell people that they are going to DIE? It might lead to suicide or worse! I see no way to rationalize this as a "fun" event. People are just trying to live their lives, and you are trying to lure them into some "private area" and involve yourself with the private lives of innocent partygoers. Not cool! Not even fun! If I were living in the Portland area, I would try to get this guy off the streets. It is shameful, and it shows blatant disregard for human safety. It shows a contempt towards humanity that is hard to understand. It is almost like saying "Firing squad wanted for party fun!" or "Poisoner wanted for Halloween fun!" Come on people, we need to fight this kind of evil with tooth and nail. I will tell you what I am going to do. I think I will infiltrate the party, not as the psychic, but as a friend of the psychic. You see I have a Russian who would work perfectly, his accent is uber sexy, plus he has a rad goattee. So I will go to the party, and the psychic will predict that the party goers should give me money, so I can save the whales. Then, when I get the money I will spend 10% of it to make flyers denouncing the party as a fraud. Of course I will keep the rest for my troubles, giving my Russian friend $11 or $12, this should help keep him quiet as I head out of the country so as to avoid the chaos which will inevitably ensue when the fraud is unveiled. Of course I am doing this to teach the party planner a valuable lesson. You do not have the right to involve yourself in peoples lives in this way. And not only that but the lives of their children. So lets stand up to this oppression people, who is coming with me? Disappointedly yours, Buzzsaw

1 comment:

  1. Lol...I'm game;) I could be the Psychic's advisor and personal agent. That would be too funny!