Friday, October 8, 2010

When opportunity knocks, it often knocks you up!

As I am currently looking/lurking for work I thought I might get on the old standby, and see what I could turn up. I was searching the “gigs” listings, and since I am the talent decided to try the talent section. I found the following ad, and am actually somewhat interested in it. I just wanted to run it by the other 2 people who read my blog and see what they thought! Here it is:
want to photograph white guys with muscular bodies, gym rats, athletes, construction workers, etc.
prefer white or latin men, this will be a NUDE photo shoot.
you will be paid for your time & you will get copies of the pics.
the photos will NOT be sold or distributed anywhere so a release will not be signed or needed.
must be 18 years of age up to 30yrs old. 5'8-6'2, hwp, smoother preferred or light body hair.
please include a minimum of a torso picture, does not have to be nude. will require a face pic before meeting.
I like the fact that right up front the writer mentions wanting to photograph “white guys”. To me this seems like an automatic in. At least I fit the criteria. I know for a fact I am white. Lilly white. And for that matter I have been totally convinced that I am a guy for more than half my life! I can tell I am a shoe in for the part. Oh, I had not read the part where it says “gym rats, athletes…” I in no way could claim to be a gym rat or an athlete. I worked out three times in the last 4 months and I hated every minute of it. So there were three minutes in the last four months that I absolutely hated. I know I could qualify as a construction worker since I own an orange safety vest as well as a hard hat, but since (I have now read the ad) that it is a nude shoot, in which case my construction props are a no-go. Darn it! One thing of interest, and too bad I am not a Latin man, is that the Latin men are apparently not required to be gym rats. It seems that any Latin man who is willing to be photographed in the nude is going to work for the “project”. So another darn it. But somehow I still have hope! One perk of the job is that whoever gets it will be paid. I find that nice because I can’t even tell you how much I have had to pay people simply to listen to me tell them about myself being nude, let alone to watch and photograph me! This just keeps getting better! I also like the fact that I do not have to sign anything, these are not for commercial use, they are for a personal collection! I could not be happier, it is almost like getting your art hung at a major museum, except this time I will be in the personal collection of some unknown person! Oh no! I just read the age requirements! Damn! I am 31 so unless I lie about my age I will be completely excluded from participating in this amazing photo opportunity. I need to think of something quick. The only thing I can think of is to take the ad and put it into photoshop and change the age to 31, then when asked I will say that it said 31 and pull out the ad.  I fit the height requirements so that is a go. I don’t know if the next section means smooth body hair or what. But since I have light body hair which is the texture of smooth butter, I think I can get through this hoop! Whew, this job hunting stuff is exhausting! Now I just need a non-nude torso shot, which since I ate at the Forks Coffee shop everyday this summer is not to great! I think I might just send a fake one I find on the internet and also a fake face shot (which is required before meeting, I assume so the author can figure out whose torso he is talking to!). Anyway, wish me luck, I have my fingers crossed. Buzzsaw signing out!


  1. ew. Craigslist can be dicey

    "barely legal"

  2. "But since I have light body hair which is the texture of smooth butter." This made me laugh out loud.

    You are certifiable and I mean that with love.