Tuesday, October 26, 2010

This bio could be yours!

I was honored when I was asked to write an artist bio for my good friend, M. Kyle Moseby. He has a photography exhibit, so I wrote four pieces I thought he could use. I was pleasantly surprised that he shared it with a couple other friends. One of whom was kind enough to write a little note that said very nice things! So here are the bios! Imagine, if you are nice to me, they could be yours!

Artist Bio! When it comes down to it, there are few people in the world who can stand up to M. Kyle Moseby in the ring. He has a wicked right hook, and an uppercut that will make Cassius Clay reconsider his career choices. He is also hell on wheels with a camera. Remember the WTO riots? It was his idea. He wanted some good photo ops, so a riot ensued. Think about a beautiful sunset. Do you think it would exist without the gentle prodding of a one M. Kyle Moseby? Ha! Of course not. That is because Mr. Moseby is a man of action. He is also brimming with masculinity and poise. Please enjoy his latest creations. It will be apparent to even the most inexperienced viewer that they are going on a tour, with a master tour guide. Mr. Moseby has been around the world so many times that the world got tired and had to take a break. This is why it stopped spinning in the summer of 2006 and just started spinning again last month! So please enjoy the photos, it is his pleasure to thrill you with wonders unknown. Once again, I would like to introduce the man, who truly needs no introduction. M. Kyle Moseby.

Artist Bio? Wrestling with a pack of wolves? A simple task! Stealing bear cubs from a watchful mother? Childs play! These are the things that M. Kyle Moseby will do before breakfast. Just to make sure that he is awake! A man of the world. A dog owner. Photographer of great renown and musical wunderkind. The man is a raging bull behind the camera, and as debonair as an aristocrat in front of it. It gives me great pleasure to introduce his latest work, framed with elegance, and shot with the gritty awareness of an East Memphis pimp. These photo’s will grab you like a Doberman with lockjaw, only letting go when they have severed your arm from your bloody stump of a shoulder! So please do not touch!  That is not to say that Mr. Moseby has any difficulty shooting pictures of children. He has created photo scenarios which have given Anne Geddes fits of jealous rage because the kids looked so adorable. He is also unafraid of a glamour shot. There are at least 12 sexy firefighter calendars which bear his nom de plum, and I hear tell of another in the works. He is a man who is unafraid to bear all, and he uncovers his very soul with his photography! Ladies and gentlemen, M. Kyle Moseby!

Artist Bio: If I were to truly write a bio for M. Kyle Moseby, it would have to be nice and short. Why? Because if that were the case Mr. Moseby and myself would have much better things to do than read the damn thing. We would much rather make history, not to mention cause women to swoon! And swoon they will, when they take a look at these here photographs! “He is soooo sexy!” “Did you see his rippling biceps?” “His rough beard and torn jeans are a sight for sore eyes. Too bad I’m legally blind. I guess I will have to go with Braille!” And the list goes on. Don Juan. Casanova. Myself. M. Kyle Moseby. If you miss the opportunity to buy one of these pieces, you’re an idiot. This is the man all the waitresses are praying will stiff them. But I am sure they will settle for just getting shafted. So don't test your fate, go take a look-see!

Artist Bio: Lloyd’s of London won’t even insure this man. They know the cocksure strut, they know the devil-may-care look of his piercing glance. And they know that if they got their hands on him, they would be hell bent for leather not to let go! But how can you fence in a hurricane? How can you tame a roaring dragon? Something’s are best meant to roam free. Such is the case with M. Kyle Moseby. Covering the length of our country on foot with nothing but a camera, a box of rubbers, and the striking resemblance to a Norse god, he is a force to be reckoned with. He has been to jail. Multiple times. He has spent countless hours behind the decks in the hippest clubs in town. Yet he counts among his friends such notables as Brian McClaren (though he did lambaste B-Mac’s music, and slap him in the face with a cod)! So look, lurk, while you have the chance!

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